Effects of Divorce on Children: What a Child Experiences

The effects of divorce on child are going to depend on how you, as parents, are able to manage the changes in your family's dynamics. Some of the areas of your family life that are going to change include: your finances, your family celebrations, your parenting styles, how your children relate to their extended family and how the family communicates with each other. To help your child adjust to the changes in their life you need to take steps to ensure that all of the changes are orchestrated to reduce stress and tension between family members.

Financial Effects

The financial effects of divorce on child are going to impact them both emotionally and physically. The physical impact of changes in their family's financial status is going to impact how many resources the child has at their disposal. This includes the type and amount of food that they have access to, the type and quality of clothes that they have, the quality of their shelter and their ability to pay for higher education. While the physical impacts of financial changes caused by divorce are highly visible, it is the emotional effects that these financial changes cause that create the biggest impact on the child's life. Emotional problems develop when divorced parents have to spend more time working and less time with their child, it develops when mom is stressed out because she doesn't have enough money to pay this month's bills, and it develops when the child is made fun of at school because they are wearing hand-me-downs instead of the latest fashions.

Holidays

The effects of divorce on child also extend to the holidays. When the family was married holidays were a time of fun and celebration. Now that the family is divorced kids may find holidays to be overwhelming, depressing and emotionally draining. This is because they are away from at least one of their parents and they may be caught in the middle of a fight between their parents over who should get the kids over Christmas break. You can avoid the negative effects caused by this situation by not focusing on the holiday date, but on the holiday spirit instead. If you cherish every day with your kids then you won't feel like you are missing out on as much if you don't have them on a holiday date. You may also want to try and hold your special holiday celebration on a different date. This way both parents get to have a special day with their kids, and the kids will have two great days with their parents instead of a single stressed out holiday.

Family Dynamics

After you get divorced your parenting style may need to be adjusted to fit your new family dynamics. The parenting strategies and techniques that you used when you were married may not be effective when you are divorced. If you need help finding a more effective parenting style to use then you can always check out books on parenting or talk to a child development specialists. Public schools and community centers also sometimes offer parenting classes for divorced families. These classes are usually free of charge and they are held after 5 pm which makes them accessible to most parents.

Extended Families

Another area of your family dynamics that is going to change after you get divorced is your children's relationship with their extended family. Custody arrangements may cause your kids to miss a family birthday or activity because they are with you instead of with your ex-spouse on a specific date. Many parenting plans restrict parents from telling kids about family events and activities that are going to be held on a day when they are with their other parent. This is to prevent parents from playing their kids against the other parent. However, this clause in the parenting plan can sometimes deprive kids of important bonding time with their extended family. One way to work around this is to talk with your ex-spouse when your kids are not around to discuss the possibility of making arrangements for the kids to attend the family event.

Communication

Communication between family members also is impacted by the changes in your family dynamics. Communication breakdowns occur because the kids spend part of their time with one parent and part of their time with the other parent. To help keep the lines of communication open at all times between everyone involved rules can be established to govern communications and alternative communication methods can be used to keep both parents updated with what is going on in their children's lives.