Election 2008: Rudy Giuliani Calls Bernard Kerik, "Basically, a Good Criminal."

(Dubuque-IA) During a campaign stop, Rudy Giuliani tried his best to address a question of how he felt about his former police commissioner being indicted and arraigned last week on charges of accepting bribery, giving out city contracts to construction companies with links to organized crime and tax evasion, while he was still America's Mayor and not possible President.

After a ten-minute strategy of, "Is that my cell phone ringing? I think my wife might be calling," Giuliani was as direct as George Bush after his New Orleans praise of then FEMA head Michael Brown. "I think we have to remember that Bernie Kerik isn't so much guilty as he is not innocent, and the extent of his non-innocence remains to be decided by a jury."

However, the not quite front-runner for Southern Christian voters did take some responsibility. "I made a mistake in not clearing him effectively. But if I may use a baseball analogy, you can fail seventy percent of the time and still get into the Hall of Fame. I don't always hit a home run, but you can count on me for a ground rule double."

President Bush, who recently forgot that he was a Republican when he said that Democratic hopeful Barack Obama would be a better President than Hillary Clinton, commented on the statement during recent fund raising event. "I have the greatest respect for Rudy Giuliani. But I have to disagree with his recent statement regarding Bernie Kerik. It's not only the guy who can get the ground rule double who counts. Pete Rose proved a good singles hitter is worth his weight in pennants, and you can bet on that. Get it? Pete Rose...bet."

Famed evangelist and tolerator of all things Jewish in preparation for Jesus, Pat Roberston also still stood behind his endorsement of Giuliani after the statement. Robertson weighed in at a recent inter faith pancake-blintzes breakfast in Dakota, attended by the three Jews in the state. "I said that I wouldn't get into this debate, because I'm more of a football man. But is anybody going to take the side of the pitchers?"

Robertson then was asked how he could give his endorsement to Rudy Giuliani who is pro-choice? "Rudy Giuliani made Bernard Kerik, who has shall we say bent the law, police commissioner. This is a man whose words say one thing, but his actions dictate another. Some may call him a flip-flopper. But I call him, "Mr. President."

The three Jews at the pancake-blintzes breakfast reacted by simply sighing with a collective, "Oy."

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