Election Conspiracy Theories: Signs that Conservatives Are Making Democrats Sweat

Like most Americans, I like democracy, at least the idea of it. That is, I like the notion that I go out in November, vote, everything gets tallied up, and then whoever gets the most votes becomes the leader of our executive branch, while the loser graciously acknowledges that they failed to meet the requirements as lined out in our Constitution and goes on with their lives. Unfortunately, democracy opens with it the realm of the bickering, as seen with the pathetic state of Kenya as a contested election has resulted in ethnic cleansing.

Fortunately in the United States, we haven't had to endure this level of democracy induced psychosis, but we do have our own version of paranoia, conspiracy theories, and other ugly aspects of human nature that comes out when they realize that they simply didn't have what it took to become the leader of the nation.

This election season, watching outspoken Democrats and far left liberals in a proverbial flow chart of behaviors and emotions has been amusing to say in the least. In 2008, with a president with an approval rating of 35% and a hostile Congress, all that was really needed for them to win was a decently moderate Democrat who could cash in on the disenfranchised Republicans who are more focused on the economy. However, perhaps misinterpreting the George W. Bush inflicted GOP weakness, Democrats have turned this into a Far Left minority race, hoping to strike the political iron while it is hot and shifting the country to their spectrum of thinking.

However, the notions of socialist reeking "shared responsibility" and, on the heels of remarkable security gains in Iraq that have manifested into crushing defeats for al-Qaeda and a massively progressive (a word that I fear will result in a copyright dispute after the Left has slapped it on everything from their political party to cheese rolls) government system/army a defeatist attitude does not sit well in American bellies. MoveOn.org, essentially a haven for those so unfathomably out of touch with reality that they had the audacity to accuse an American general of treachery because he reported on his own honest findings under his responsibility, is, for all of their meandering, a pretty much assured vote. Therefore the fact that Democratic candidates are trying to court this group is nothing short of laughable.

But then, perhaps the most amusing is watching the sliding scale of Liberal responses to recent Conservative popularity. It all began in 2007, with the accusation that there was absolutely no hope for a Republican to take office. Arguing that George W. Bush irreparably damaged the Republican Party int he short term, liberals felt strongly that there would be a landslide victory for Democrats. In recent times, be it from the strength of the Republicans or the simple laughable weakness of the Democratic candidates, that tone has suddenly changed.

As though realizing that defeat is a distinct possibility - and I personally make no predictions in this topsy turvy election that saw Huckabee winning the Iowa Caucus and Giuliani dropping out early in the race - suddenly the paradigm of defensive strategy has shifted. No longer is it one of supreme confidence, but one of preparing themselves to be able to appeal to their previous accusations by starting out now by claiming that any imminent defeat is indisputably the result of cheating.

From accusations that corporations are secretly controlling the Electoral College, to the Supreme Court was in the pay of George W. Bush, to the notion that Republicans control all the polling booths and are waiting to harass any voters as modern versions of Boss Tweed's thugs, all manner of conspiracy theory has come out to justify a defeat that has not happened.

It's very much like playing Stratego or Chess with that overly cocky kid that watched a thousand videos of Garry Kasparov, and therefore thinking they have it made against you. Then, as you take their bishop and three of their pawns, they begin to realize that there's little hope of utilizing their narrow, misguided strategy to defeat you. Therefore, immediately, they accuse you of cheating, they don't really know how, they don't really have a point, they just want to start throwing excuses out early. If they aren't accusing you of cheating, they let out a long yawn and explain that they didn't sleep well the night before, or they grab their stomachs and explain they're hungry.

But in the end - they're just excuse mongers.