Eleven Ways to Help Children with Sensory or Motor Issues Learn to Eat

Two out of four of my children have severe sensory and motor skills that interfere with how and what they eat. My oldest daughter has a high gag reflex coupled with severe tactile defensiveness. This means Jaimie isn't just influenced by how the food feels on the tongue or in the mouth but also by temperature, texture, flavor or seasoning. Our son also has the gag reflex but his difficulties are more motor (mechanics of eating, such as tongue movement, chewing and swallowing) and motor planning (steps involved in eating: pick up food, bring to mouth, open mouth, etc.).

Also, most kids move from liquids to mushy to solids to pieces to normal proportioned foods as they feel comfortable. Not only did Xander not get past mushy, but his jaw/mouth muscles and his tongue never learned how to work effectively to chew, move food around in his mouth or swallow. No wonder he sticks to foods that are soft and dissolve more easily in his mouth!

Research has shown that it can take presenting a food 30 times just to get a 'typical' child interested in it. And it can take many more times after that just for her to feel like trying it. It can take even longer for children struggling with sensory and/or motor issues. That's a lot of times and a lot of meals!

The following list is comprised of tools we've used and are currently using in our house, as well as other helpful suggestions from nutritionists and occupational therapists:

a) Eliminate anything artificial and replace it with the good stuff. Get rid of anything with additives or artificial colors, flavors, or dyes, and replace them with natural, raw versions of those foods. Don't keep anything the kids shouldn't have in the cupboards. The best way to get your child to start eating what they're given is to make sure there are no "bad" alternatives for them to choose from.

b) Talk about where food comes from. As with any child, simply telling your sensitive child to eat something because it's good for her isn't going to fly. Make the foods a little more exciting by talking about where and how they're grown.

c) Show her where food comes from. Take your child to a farm or farmer's market so she can see where the foods you're trying to get her to eat come from. See if the farmer will answer questions or even let her get in there and plant, weed, or harvest.

d) Grow your own garden. Sometimes planting and growing foods in your own garden can get a child interested in trying something new (this worked for us with squash). There's something exciting about planting a seed and watching it grow into something that we can eat.

e) Get your child to help plan meals. Now, obviously, your child isn't going to choose everything the way you would, but give them a vote. "Should we have peas or carrots with supper?" or "What kind of rice/pasta should we have?" This gives the child a small sense of being in control of what she's eating. (A great tool for helping fussy eaters, particularly those living with Autism or SPD, with meal planning is The Eating Game invented by Canadian educator, Jean Nicol. Created in conjunction with the American and Canadian Food Guides, it helps children put together wonderful, healthy meals and snacks-with Mom and Dad's help, of course.)

f) Kids in the kitchen. Kids love to help out, so give your child a special job to do, or, better still, see what he can do to help prepare dinner. See the pride in his eyes when everyone says, "You helped make this? Yum!" And this may even encourage him to taste it, since he helped prepare it.

g) Encourage "feeling" the meal. As with other new situations, allow your child to feel her food. Tell her to smell, poke, squish, or otherwise interact with it. This may not be the best action to take in a restaurant or when you have dinner guests, but, at home, let her know it's okay to check her food out if that's what helps her feel better about it.

h) Have a "spit bowl." Again, this may not be an acceptable action around guests or in a restaurant, but if you teach the art of discretion at the same time, it can work. A "spit bowl" is something your child can eject the food into if he finds it unpalatable. The key here is to encourage him to give the food a try with the option of getting rid of it. At first, there will be more spat out than swallowed, but eventually you may notice more and more staying in.

i) Have a "one bite" rule. After the "spit bowl" phase, you can move to a rule where everyone has to try at least one taste of everything on the plate. If it helps, have a food that Mom, Dad, or siblings may struggle with too. That way, your sensitive child sees that other people have texture or taste issues with certain things but still have to try them. You can increase the size or number of bites once this is tolerated. (Jaimie has gone from a scraping of a pea or corn to eating seven.)

j) Make tiny changes to a food jag. A food 'jag' is a food that a child gets stuck on, like pasta, rice or chicken nuggets. If you change one tiny thing about their favorite foods, such as shape (cut a sandwich in a different shape or a different kind of pasta), color (a veggie pasta that's a different color), or texture (put tiny chunks of fruit into the yogurt or apple sauce) can help increase tolerance for trying a different food.

k) Allow him to choose one meal each week that is entirely his. Again, giving kids the power to choose is an amazing way to help these children. If they know there's a night when they can get exactly what they want (within reason, of course), they are more willing to follow the rules during the rest of the week. Jaimie loves pizza, so Friday nights are pizza night. We used to serve store-bought pizza or get take-out, but since eliminating such foods from our diet and following the Feingold plan, I experimented with different sauces and started making my own crust, and now she loves it.

l) Hide the good stuff in what they like. Make smoothies with berries, protein powder and sweeter veggies; add iron-rich veggies in sauces/dips she likes; bake 'brain friendly' cookies with flax seed oil, seeds, nuts, berries and other good stuff. After awhile, you figure out what you can 'hide' successfully.

It can be a real challenge feeding children with sensory and/or motor issues. But once you understand his specific eating issues, you can create a plan to help him cope.