Eleven Ways to Tell You're in Love
A Guide for Every Age and Both Sexes
Why she thinks she's in love with the boy
Age 6
He can spell his name.
Neither of you knows what the grown ups are talking about
He takes a bath regularly.
He shares his cookies.
He doesn't treat you like his little sister.
He doesn't need training wheels.
He shares his toys.
He lets you be the bad guy when you play cops and robbers.
He makes his own bed.
He earns an allowance.
He doesn't know how to play doctor.
As A Teenager
He remembers your name.
You don't understand what he's talking about most of the time.
He shaves his head. And his back. But not his face.
He's not afraid of your parents. But they're a little bit afraid of him.
He thinks you'd look cute pregnant.
He rides a Harley.
He buys you beer.
He has money but no visible source of income.
He's been in jail.
He thinks housework refers to his last construction job.
He's had sex with more people than you have.
In your 20's
He remembers your friends' names.
He pretends he understands what you're talking about sometimes.
He has better hair than you do and all your friends think he's cute.
Your parents want to adopt him.
He likes other people's kids.
He drives a jeep.
He takes you on picnics and picks you flowers.
He pays when you go out.
He's almost been arrested.
He knows how to do laundry.
He's had sex with the same number of people you have.
In your 30's
He remembers your birthday.
He doesn't pretend he understands what you're talking about when he really doesn't.
He spends less time in front of the mirror than you do.
Sometimes your parents like him better than they like you.
He doesn't refer to himself as the babysitter of his own children.
He's not afraid to drive a mini van.
He makes dinner reservations and hires a babysitter.
He has a job.
He's been arrested while attending a peace march.
He does the dishes without expecting a standing ovation.
He stopped having sex with other people when he met you.
In your 40's
He remembers the anniversary of your first date.
He does understand what you're talking about.
He still has some hair.
He's still younger than your parents.
He wants to travel instead of having kids.
He has his own car.
He forgets dinner and stays up all night to talk to you on a weeknight.
He earns more money than you do.
He's never been arrested.
He knows where the grocery store is and he likes to cook.
He's good at sex.
In your 50's
He remembers your age but doesn't blab.
He understands what you're talking about even though he can't remember the topic.
He doesn't comb his three remaining strands of hair to one side.
Your parents don't annoy him.
His kids are gainfully employed.
He lets you drive his little red sports car.
He rents a movie you like and doesn't burn the popcorn.
He has a retirement fund.
All his friends are in the legal profession.
He has a maid. And it's not you.
He still has sex. With you.
In your 60's
He remembers the color of your eyes.
You still understand what he's talking about even when he doesn't.
He doesn't dye any of the gray hairs he still has.
He reminds you of your father.
His kids are younger than you are.
He still has his driver's license even though he can't remember where he parked the car.
He doesn't forget you when he leaves the restaurant.
He owns property.
He doesn't think he's ever been arrested.
Sex keeps him from worrying about how clean the house is.
He has a prescription for Viagra.
Over 70
He remembers who you are.
He can't hear so it doesn't matter what you're talking about.
He keeps the hair growing out of his ears neatly trimmed.
He reminds you of your grandfather.
His kids like you.
He doesn't own a car because he's too blind to drive.
He stays awake all the way through dinner.
He remembers where he put the checkbook sometimes.
They let him ride home in the front seat of the cruiser every time he gets lost.
He remembers to put the seat up before and down after.
He can't remember what sex is but he's still breathing.
(Disclaimer - I haven't gotten as far as the second half of these so I'm just guessing.)
Why he thinks he's in love with the girl.
At every age:
She tries to kiss you.
She's not afraid of worms.
She laughs even when your jokes are dumb.
She doesn't talk when there's something good on T.V.
She reminds you when it's her birthday and tells you what she wants.
She gives you cookies.
When you have a race, she lets you win sometimes.
When she goes shopping, she buys you stuff too.
She knows how to act like a kid.
You can be yourself, and she loves you anyway.
She keeps trying to kiss you.
Published by Linda Galok
I read more than I clean house, laugh more than I cry, and cook as infrequently as I can get away with it. I'm an obsessive-compulsive wiseass, my favorite color is Hershey, and I believe in angels. But I'... View profile
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- He takes a bath regularly.
- He spends less time in front of the mirror than you do.
- He doesn't comb his three remaining strands of hair to one side.
1 Comments
Post a CommentThis was so much fun, I'm sending the link to my daughter and her fiance.