Eliminate Disrespectful Behavior in Teens with Effective Consequences

Are you dealing with a disrespectful teen at home? Don't let this behavior go unchecked, or you'll soon have a disaster on your hands. Teens need to know that their actions have consequences, but as a parent, you need to ensure that you enforce effective consequences for disrespectful behavior in teens at school and at home. As a former disrespectful teen, I remember all too well-being on the opposite side of the fence. I hope these eight tips for dealing with disrespectful teens will help you establish effective consequences.

1) Remind your teenager that she is loved. It might sound a little too new age for your taste, but all human beings need to feel loved. Disrespectful behavior often comes as a result of nothing getting enough loving attention. By reinforcing your positive feelings about the teen, you let your son or daughter know that you care. Your teen might scoff at your open admission of love, but deep down, teens need to hear this message.

2) Evaluate your own actions. Actions always speak louder than words, so make sure that what you say matches up with what you do. Any discrepancies will be noted by your eagle-eyed disrespectful teen and may even be brought painfully to your attention. Telling a teen not to smoke when you've been a pack a day smoker since you were his age wouldn't accomplish anything.

3) Take a deep breath. The old trick that tells you to count to ten and take a deep breath before scolding anyone is a great one to keep actively in mind during your child's teenage years. The teenage years are often a difficult transition for your child, so try to remember this. Take a couple of days to draft a list of effective consequences for your disrespectful teenager.

4) Choosing effective consequences for your disrespectful teenager shouldn't be difficult. You either give or you take away: You give additional chores or work assignments, and you take away personal entertainment access. You must decide on a time period for the effective consequence to take place. Does one smart remark earn one missed hour of video games? Does a detention at school mean one night being grounded?

5) Dialogue with your teen about their disrespectful behavior. See if you can locate the source of your teen's disrespectful behavior by chatting candidly and frankly with your teenager. Part of the battle in the teenage years comes from being forced to transition between childhood and adulthood with a shaky balance until your teen has found her footing. Ease the transition and show your respect for your teen by talking to her as you would any other adult.

6) If your teen is being disrespectful to others at school, schedule meetings with your teen's classroom teachers to discuss the problem. Many teachers have dealt with similar problems from similar teens and may be able to offer advice, support, and resources to help.

7) Talk with a mental health professional is the behavior continues after you've steadily been enforcing effective consequences for disrespectful behavior. The problem may rest deeper than you are able to effectively manage. You might even consider parent / child counseling.

8) Have patience. Though it may have seemed as if your well-behaved child transformed suddenly into a surly teenager, the truth is that these patterns of disrespect in teens don't develop overnight. You won't be able to resolve the problem instantly, so don't expect that you can. By holding true to the effective consequences that you decide on for your teen, you must be consistent for at least thirty days before you can see any lasting effects.