Eliot Spitzer Causes Family Problem

I was vaguely familiar with this Governor of New York, before he screwed up and got in the news for having a night out on the town with some high-priced prostitute. He allegedly paid almost $5000 dollars for a few hours. My thinking is that he was a bonehead! But I never expected the reaction I received from my wife and I don't even know the guy.

It started like this as my wife and I were watching the TV reports. My wife said "he's a real SOB" I responded, "Yep."

"You men are all the same."

"Yep."

"What do you mean, yep?"

"Nothing honey, he was a real fool."

"You'd never do anything like that - would you?"

"Of course not honey - I don't have an extra $5000 laying around."

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"No darling," I said as I realized I had just entered a forbidden zone and shouldn't be kidding about something like this.

"If you ever did anything like that, do you know what I'd do?"

"Yes honey."

"What?"

"I suppose it would be something drastic."

"You better, believe it - after you were asleep, I'd go in the kitchen and get my big knife. . ."

"I know honey, you don't have to get graphic - you know I love you."

"Well I just want you to know in case you ever thought of it."

"Honey, I've never thought of anything like that."

Knowing that this conversation was really going nowhere, I switched the channel. "What are you doing." she said.

"Nothing honey, I just was getting tired of that."

"Well go back to that channel, I want to see more."

"Yes honey. I think I'll go out and put that new light on my motorcycle"

"No you won't. I want you to watch this. Look at his poor wife. I feel like sending her my knife!"

It went on like that for several more minutes before I was able to get away and go to the garage and fondle my motorcycle. Later after my return and as we lay in bed side by side, I found that all the talk of Spitzer's indiscretion had made me a bit amorous.

"What are you doing?"

"I just wanted to let you know, I love you."

"Well, I can't tonight, I'm too upset over that guy."

"Ok honey, I understand."

As I lay there thinking for a few minutes, I came to the conclusion that Spitzer was truly an SOB. I don't even know him and here he was intruding on my life.

Epilogue

The next day was much better. My darling had ceased to be focused on the tribulations of Spitzer and I noted that it was probably in my best interests to greet my wife with some flowers that evening.

"Thank you honey," she said, "This is why I love you so much and after the kids are in bed, I'll show you what I mean."

NOTE TO ELIOT: A few flowers and a bit of attention to your wife could have prevented the lifetime of hurt you have imposed on her and others.