Embarassment by Way of "Squidward"

As a parent, we often embarrass our children without realizing it. However, this story if different. This is an account if how I embarrassed my oldest son.

Due to extenuating circumstances, my oldest son and I found ourselves needing a place to stay. I was young, making lousy money and not receiving any aid from his father. Luckily enough for us, my best friend and her boyfriend had a three bedroom home and offered us a room until I could get back on my feet.

Labor Day came along, and we decided we would have some friends over and have a barbeque. We decided on hot dogs, hamburgers, potato chips and macaroni and cheese. Easy enough right? While my best friend and I were busy preparing the food, we realized that we only had one box of macaroni and cheese, of the SpongeBob Square pants variety. We ransacked the cabinets in the kitchen and pantry both certain of two things....One-that one box would not feed six people, and two-that there must have been at least one more box of macaroni and cheese in the house.

Now, I realize that this seems a tad over the top- this desperate search for macaroni and cheese. However, my son didn't care for meat and had been begging for macaroni and cheese upon his having woke up that morning and I promised so I just had to make it for him.

After about twenty minutes, my best friend had found another box of macaroni and cheese. Thankful for her discovery, I tell her to throw it in with the SpongeBob stuff that was on the stove. She was laughing uncontrollably. "What are you laughing about?" I ask. She looks at me, her face red from laughing eyes welling with tears, "Do you remember that sex toy party we had a few weeks ago?" "Wow". That was random, I reply. Suddenly I knew where she was going. We had purchased a few boxes of novelty macaroni to serve at the party in a salad. They were shaped like penises. She had thrown the penis macaroni in with the SpongeBob stuff. All the while my son is chanting "MACARONI MOM! I WANT MACARONI MOM!" like it was some aboriginal war cry... I consoled him by letting him know that once it was ready he would get some, and then asked him politely to settle down.

While the macaroni cooked, my boyfriend came to me asking where we got the second box of macaroni. I explained that it had been in the pantry since the party, and asked him to drain it, and add the cheese sauce while I went to get my son from the other room. I got my son ready and soon enough his request for macaroni and cheese had been granted.

My boyfriend and I watched him from the other side of the room while he ate his lunch. "Mom!" he called out. "Yes hunny," I reply. "Come here...what are these macaronis?" I walked over to him trying not laugh, my boyfriend in tears at this point. My son points out the penis shape on his spoon, and questions me again. Before I could reply, my boyfriend jumps in and answers for me... "Those are Squidwards...now finish your lunch"

He continued to eat, appeased by my boyfriends answer-he even commented on how yummy those "Squidwards" were. Until my best friend's boyfriend walked into the room as if he were unaware of the fact that my son had no idea they were penises. It was at that moment he ruined it all by blurting out "I cannot believe that you are letting that boy eat penis shaped macaroni." My son turned bright red, and turned to me saying "I thought they were Squidwards Mom....."