Embrace Imperfections for a Better Marriage

Everyone wants the perfect relationship and the perfect marriage. Guess what - there's no such thing as a perfect person, relationship, or marriage. We all have flaws and every couple is going to argue. However, you can turn those flaws and arguments into a wonderful, seemingly perfect marriage if you follow some very simple advice.

~Argue, Don't Attack

In the heat of an argument, it's easy to start insulting the other person. You're married now, so obviously, you want the relationship to last. Attacking the other person causing you to say things you'll regret. It's easier to stay on topic than not be able to meet your spouse's eyes the next day.

Argue only about the problem at hand. For instance, if a husband wants to his friends over every night, but you want some time alone together, keep the focus on spending time together. Don't start attacking his intelligence, looks, or family. These have nothing to do with the issue. Arguing about only the real problem will help you get results instead of more fighting and regrets.

~Try Each Other's Hobbies

Some couples look at each other's hobbies as flaws. Let's face it, under most circumstances a guy isn't going to happily tag along to musicals and chick flicks and women aren't going to be overjoyed about football and golf. Its fine to have different hobbies from your spouse, but it's important to at least try some of each other's favorites.

Trying each other's hobbies may introduce you to something you really enjoy. You may not be good at it, but at least you're spending more time together. You don't have to do everything your spouse does, but at least give a few of their hobbies a chance. Who knows, your wife may become a football fanatic and your husband may actually tear up during that next tear jerker you take him to.

~Share TV Control

For something so trivial, so many couples spend hours arguing over what to watch and who has control of the prized remote control. Share control of the remote and the TV. A good idea is to have his and her TV nights. The fairest way to do this is to alternate nights to allow each of you a night of full control over what you watch.

Obviously, if there is a conflict, have two televisions. Sometimes network schedules put a couple's favorite shows on at the same time. Instead of arguing, one can watch the main TV and the other can watch the other show on the second TV. Problem solved and everyone's happy.

~Talk, Talk, Talk

Women love to give hints and be subtle about their problems. Men tend to ignore problems altogether. These turn into the "he doesn't pay attention" and the "I have no idea what she wants" issues. No one understands the other. The simple solution is to talk to each other. Neither one of you can read minds. If you want something or have a problem, talk to each other. Don't expect your spouse to magically know you have something on your mind.

~Remember You're Not Perfect Either

This can be a hard fact to accept. We always want to blame problems and flaws on our spouse. Believe it or not, you're not always the perfect wife or husband either. You do things that annoy your spouse everyday. Instead of complaining, they accept you for who you are.

Instead of placing yourself on a pedestal, step down beside your spouse and accept each other's flaws. If something really bothers you, talk about it, but don't place blame. A good marriage involves compromise and acceptance. Be happy with yourself and your spouse, flaws and all. Once you accept the flaws, you start seeing your spouse as close to perfect as any human being can possibly be.

~Laugh

Life can be extremely serious and overwhelming at times. Take time out to laugh. When you talk things too seriously, you begin to lash out at each other. Crack a joke during an argument to ease tension. This doesn't mean you should never take problems and stress seriously, but allow yourselves to laugh and have fun.

Relax each other after a hard day at work by talking about something humorous. Laughter really can be the best medicine. The next thing you know, the tension and stress are gone and you can start working on your problems together.

~Separate Areas

One common problem in a marriage is combining belongings. Have separate areas. For instance, each of you should have a separate closet. This prevents one spouse from taking all the closet space. Argument diverted. You should also each have a room that is mainly yours. For instance, let your wife decorate the bedroom, but let your husband decorate the living room. This doesn't mean you're not allowed in their space, but this gives your spouse an area that's all their own.

Marriages require work. You're going to argue. You're not always going to be 100% honest in order to spare each other's feelings. Love is wonderful and beautiful, but marriage is about more than love. It's about working together as a team and accepting each other as perfectly imperfect.