Embracing Death

Those in the medical profession are familiar with a DNR order. A DNR means Do Not Resuscitate, which basically means that the person with this order does not want to be brought back to life if his lungs and heart stop working. In order words, do not do CPR or any other methods that would bring this person back to life.

Why in the world would someone want to have this order? Doesn't this person value life? Isn't this person thinking about friends and family? Why does this person want to be left for dead?

Well, people have plenty of reasons why they would have a DNR order. If a person's heart stop working and they are not breathing, they are considered to be clinically dead. Clinical death - where the lungs and heart stop working - is seen as fixable, whereas biological death - where brain cells decay as well as with the rest of the body - is seen as permanent. DNR order is to tell the rescuer to not do anything with the patient if he is clinically dead, so if there is a chance to bring this person "back to life," the rescuer should forget about it and just break the news to the family.

At first when I was taught about a DNR, I really didn't know what to think of it. But the more I looked into it, the more I think that having a DNR order isn't such a bad idea. That is, if you could embrace death.

If you were clinically dead and someone brought you back to life, there could be some very negative consequences. You could be permanently brain damaged and spend the rest of your life in a vegetative state, you might be in a coma, you may lose some function of your body, or perhaps you were already in bad shape and you know that if you were resuscitated (brought to life), then you would continue to spend your life in pain.

If you spent your life attached to tubes and wires, cannot do anything for yourself, and had to spend your life in the nursing home, would you want to be resuscitated if you "crapped out?" What if you were only kept alive through machines, would you want to be kept on life support or have them plug the plus? What if you were just a head? Would you want to be kept alive or left for dead?

One of the biggest fears that people have in general is dying. People don't typically want to talk about death, much less experience it. For them, death marks the end of the road, the final chapter, the point of no return. People think about all of the things they haven't done, all of the places they haven't been, and so on if they are about to die. Death, which is a vast mystery, could be a very scary thing.

People would give all just to live another year longer, another month longer, or another day longer. Science has done its part to enable people to live just a little longer than they should: ventilators, artificial hearts, pacemakers, dialysis, all of these fun toys that could prolong someone's life. With organ donations and blood transfusions, science is able to better keep people from dying too soon. Life is so highly cherished that people would much rather live a life attached to machines than to be dead. If people undergo very risky surgery and come out alive, they are jumping for joy because they didn't die. If a person had a choice of whether to live a life with most of their body parts amputated or to be dead, that person would probably choose the first option. Well, as long as that person is alive, then that's all that matters.

Well, this may sound morbid, but sooner or later we would have to accept that we will not live forever. Once our number is called, there is no cheating it. People love to say that such and such cheated death, but believe me, when death is ready, there is no escaping it. Healthcare professionals see it all the time when there is a person they cannot resuscitate, when people die unexpectedly, when a disease progressed to such a level that it cannot be stopped, when a person involved in a major accident only lives for a few hours despite all efforts to save him. You may delay death, but when it really wants you, it'll get you.

Now, this is not to say that death is a bad thing. For many folks, death is a good thing. All the cares of the world would finally be put to rest. The heartache, the pain, the depression, all the woes on this earth would finally end and you could be at rest. Although our passing would sadden others, eventually they would realize that we would be in a better place.

Now, perhaps you don't believe in the afterlife and dying scares the crap out of you because it would mean that you would just not exist anymore. Well, even if that was the case, you would be free from any worries, fears, pain, sickness, suffering, chaos, and everything that makes the world darker by the day.

As important life is, it will eventually end for you, me, and all of us. All the riches we have in the world would not be taken with us when we go. If you are famous, you may or may not be forgotten, but either way it wouldn't matter because you won't be here to care.

If you decided to live a life in a vegetative state, how would you be enjoying life? What if you spent your life in a nursing home? What if you were just a head and couldn't do anything else but just, well, talk? What if you were to spend the rest of your life in pain? Would you be enjoying life? No you wouldn't. You might as well meet your maker - that is, if you believe in one.

When my great aunt died, you might be surprised that it wasn't a sad funeral. It was actually an exciting one. Everybody in the church singed with joy and had a good time. No one seemed sad at all, but it wasn't because no one cared about her. No, but it was because we believed that she was in a better place. She was old and was ready to go. Death was ready for her, but it was all right.

My wife and I talked about whether or not we would want to live on life support for a long time. I told her that if there was a chance that I could live again, then keep me on. But if there is no chance, then pull the plug and let me meet my maker. If I was going to be a vegetable for my entire life, then pull the plug. Despite how important my family is to me, when it's time to go, it's time to go. When my wife gets old, my children would have to accept that when she's called, she would need to go. My children would have to accept that they won't be here for long either and that when it's their time to leave, then embrace it instead of running away from it.

We were all born with a clock and there are only so many hours that clock has. Some of us would be fortunate enough to live to the final hour, while others get involved with the wrong crowd and stop their clocks way before it was finished ticking. My clock will eventually end, and your clock will finally hit the final midnight hour. When death rings your doorbell, don't lock the door by asking the doctors to do all they could, to use up every possible resource in the world to keep you living. There is only so much effort doctors could do until they start calling the chaplain in. You could spend your life trying to find ways to live an extra day longer or you could surrender and learn how to embrace death with open arms.

I am not, by the way, advocating suicide or assisted suicide. No one should want to end one's own life. I am also not advocating that any efforts to keep you alive should be forgotten. If there is a chance that you could live, then live, at least for the sake of loved ones. But death still shouldn't be feared. When it's your time, it's just your time. Any efforts to run away from it is futile.

Death is not bad. Death is not evil. Death is there to let you know that your clock reached its final hour. Death doesn't look like a skeleton with a robe and a sickle. Death could look like angels coming down to take you away from the heartache of the world. When my clock stops, I hope to see the angels coming down with a big sign that says "Welcome Home!" If you're not into the afterlife, then all death should look like to you is the lights going out. Life would just end for you. Nothing exciting, nothing scary, just nothing more than the lights going out.

Nothing in this world last forever. It will all end one day. All the adventures you take, the money you make, the fame you have, all of the wonderful things you've acquired for yourself will not be taken with you when the final hour comes. Naked you came and naked you will leave. You brought nothing into this world and you won't leave with anything in your hands.

So, while you are living, make the most of it and do your part to change the world for the better, so that when death calls, you could proudly invite him in with nothing to be ashamed of. When you go, hopefully those who know you would remember you as someone who has done something positive for the world.