Emotional Abuse in Children: Warning Signs and How to Help

We've all heard about children being abused, and it happens way too often every day. There are 4 types of abuse; physical, sexual, emotional and neglect. Do you suspect your child is being emotionally abused by someone? Or maybe you work in a daycare, and a child that you are taking care is being emotionally abused. What are the signs of emotional abuse? If you do suspect abuse, who do you contact about it? This article is meant to help you put an end to emotional abuse in a child's life.

Emotional abuse is any type of inappropriate behavior involving a child's mental and social health. This kind of abuse can involve threats, insults, extreme punishment, name-calling, blaming and more. Basically, anything that makes the child feel horrible inside. While emotional abuse doesn't involve physical pain or sexual acts, the effects of emotional abuse can hurt far worse, and cause a lifetime of psychological problems.

What Types of Emotional Abuse are There?

Verbal Abuse: Examples of verbal abuse include belittling the child by calling him/her names like "stupid", "worthless", "a mistake" and more. This also includes blaming the child constantly for things that may not even be their fault, and threatening the child with physical pain.

Extreme Punishment: Children sometimes do need to be punished, but there is a line between "right" and "wrong" when it comes to punishing a child. Acceptable forms of punishment might be taking away television time, or no dessert. Unacceptable forms of punishment include anything that would seriously scare a child, like locking them in a dark closet, leaving them somewhere dangerous by themselves, or tying them up.

Corruption: Growing up in today's world, it's hard to keep certain things away from a child's eyes. They are most likely going to see violence, sex and drugs on TV or in a movie at least once, even if it's an accident. However, this type of emotional abuse includes purposely subjecting a child to inappropriate behavior such as crime, sex, violence and excessive alcohol and drug use. Children look up to parents as their role models, and if they see them doing drugs or criminal acts, it's likely that they are going to try to imitate them.

Not Showing Affection: Children need to be loved and cared for. When a parent purposely ignores the child, doesn't give them hugs and doesn't express their love, the child is going to feel like they are not wanted or loved. No child would ever want to feel that kind of pain.

Emotional abuse does not necessarily need to come from an adult, it can come from a sibling or a "bully" from school. How do you know if your child is being bullied? He or she may become depressed, or more hostile and violent towards others, or they may try to fake sick or refuse to go to school all together.

What are the Effects and Signs of Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse effects a child's emotional, mental and behavioral well-being. Even adults who were abused as children can display these signs. Children who display these signs have a greater chance of getting in trouble or being arrested as they get older. According to HelpGuide.org, 1 of every 3 children who were raised in an abusive or neglectful home will grow up to become an abusive parent.

Emotional Effects: low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, aggressiveness, anxiety, difficulty with relationships, alienation, personality disorders, neediness and clinginess and having nightmares.

Behavioral Effects: problems with school work, alcohol and/or drug abuse, unwanted pregnancy, eating disorders, suicidal behavior, prostitution, criminal behavior and abusing others

These signs are only examples. There may be other suspicious signs to look for. These may also be applied to the other types of abuse.

What Causes People to Emotionally Abuse a Child?

So you may be asking "why would anybody abuse a child?" I'm not trying to make excuses for this kind of abuse, but there are outside factors that may play a part in the emotional abuse itself.

Stress and Personal Issues: Anybody under stress is likely to be in a bad mood, and sometimes adults under stress can go as far as taking it out on a child. The stress of taking care of kids, especially those with a disability or difficult behavior, can take a toll on a person. However, there are other options to lower stress levels then yelling and belittling a child. Also, people who are dealing with personal issues such as divorce, financial problems or other issues may want to take out their frustration on someone. Unfortunately, children can get in the way of this.

Immaturity: A number of emotionally abused children come from teenage parents. I'm not saying that all teenagers are bad parents, some may just lack the mature qualities of older parents, or they may lack the nurturing qualities necessary for child care. Most of the time, the child was an "accident" and was never meant to be had anyway, therefore teenage parents may take those regrets out on the child once it's born.

Anger Issues and History of Abuse: People may have trouble dealing with anger, so they don't know how to control it. Or, they may have a history of emotional abuse themselves.

Drug and Alcohol Use: Many times, children of drug addict and alcoholic parents are emotionally and mentally abused. People act much different when they are under the influence of drugs and alcohol, sometimes even becoming angry and violent.

How Do I Help a Child Who Has Been Emotionally Abused?

Some people may not want to get involved in issues such as emotional abuse. However, in the United States and Canada, you MUST report child abuse if you know or suspect a child is being abused. People who are mandated to report include teachers, child care and daycare workers, health care professionals (doctors, nurses, etc), social workers and police officers. Keeping it in will only let the abuser do it more, hurting the child worse than he or she already is. Do the right thing and report it immediately. By reporting, you are going to make a positive difference in the life of a child. If you find abuse early enough, the effects of emotional abuse may not be enough for the child to remember. People who are the abusers can also benefit from the therapy, anger management and/or parenting help.

The best place to call if you suspect child abuse is the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child (1-800-442-4453). The people at this hotline can help victims, survivors and witnesses of abuse, as well as the abusers themselves. The Childhelp Hotline will not be able to handle the case, but it will set you up so you can talk to the police and report it with your local law enforcement agency. You may also contact your local police station instead, and Childhelp has a list of numbers in case you need it. Visit http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/tollfree.cfm OR http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/printer_friendly.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172 for a list of numbers to call.

Child abuse reporting is completely anonymous, so don't worry about the abuser finding out that it was you that told on them. Most of the time, they will need a phone number so they can contact you with questions, but you won't have to give your full name.

Protect your children, or the children in your care, and put an end to emotional abuse, or any type of abuse for that matter. Children are being abused all the time, with your help, you can keep a child safe and cared for, or even save a child's life.