Emotional Affairs: When Friendship With the Opposite Sex Borders on Cheating

Many married people have friends of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong or abnormal about that per se. These types of friendships can often be compared to typical brother/sister relationships. Usually, buddies of the opposite sex became acquainted years before saying "I do," so the husband or wife of the parties involved are rarely threatened. On the other hand, newly acquired opposite sex friendships after marriage fall into a different category.

Online Friendships

There are numerous online penfriend sites that make it easy to become acquainted with men and women all over the world. Those who look for online pen pals do so for reasons ranging from the desire to learn about different countries and cultures to just wanting new friends. Some people request pen pals of the same sex, some prefer pen pals of the opposite sex, and others have no preference. There are countless numbers of websites with vast numbers of people all looking for online friends.

If you are married and are looking for a new pen pal and want to correspond with someone of the opposite sex, take a step back and ask yourself why. Are you wanting male or female correspondence because there is a lack of communication between you and your spouse? Are you completely happy with your spouse? Are you craving the attention of someone of the opposite sex?

There are definitely risks involved in having online friendships with the opposite sex. One day you may find yourself having a cordial online conversation, and the next day you may find that you've fallen in love with this faceless individual. Likewise, you might end up with an online friend who proclaims his or her love for you. If the feelings are mutual, you might find yourself caught up in an emotional affair. It may seem harmless, and the internet world may seem more like a fantasy land, but the fact is, there are real people with real feelings behind the messages.

People in real life aren't always as wonderful as they seem online. You may find yourself having an emotional affair by e-mail with someone you'd never give a second glance otherwise. If you go so far as deciding to meet this person, you might be in for a great disappointment. If your spouse is aware of the situation, you may have just thrown your marriage away for someone you won't be attracted to after meeting. Likewise, you should consider the possibility that your online love might not find you attractive.

Workplace Friendships

A cordial friendship at work is acceptable, but if that friendship extends beyond office doors without the accompaniment of other people, those involved might be headed into dangerous territory. If you think a friend of the opposite sex won't harm your marriage, you might be mistaken. You could eventually find yourself emotionally attached to your friend, and ultimately caught up in an affair of the heart. These emotional affairs can easily turn into physical affairs.

Besides the risk of falling into the grasp of an emotional affair, you run the risk of becoming the subject of office gossip. You may not think you are doing anything wrong, and you may in fact not be doing anything wrong, but those who observe from the sidelines might think otherwise. Sometimes those around us see what is happening or where we are headed, but we are oblivious in our own little world.

Am I Cheating?

Sometimes people find they are reaching out to befriend someone of the opposite sex because deep down they really aren't satisfied. Their spouse is not meeting their emotional needs, so they have an emotional affair. This type of affair isn't physical, so this isn't really cheating, right? An emotional affair is a form of cheating. It cheats the spouse and family out of valuable time and attention. An emotional affair can also lead to a full-blown affair that can ultimately end the marriage.

Avoiding an Emotional Affair

Countless marriages have ended due to chance online meetings. Don't begin an online correspondence with members of the opposite sex if your marriage is lacking communication. You may find yourself caught up in an emotional affair that ultimately ruins your marriage.

If you are having problems in your marriage, don't make the mistake of confiding in someone of the opposite sex. Don't make yourself vulnerable by divulging personal information to someone who might possibly take advantage of the situation. Talk to a relative or a same-sex friend if you seek advice. Confiding in a friend or acquaintance of the opposite sex could give him or her the green light to take advantage of your situation if they are so inclined.

Subconsciously, an emotional affair may be what you are seeking. Take a step back and think before opening a door you may really not want to open. Emotional affairs can lead to physical affairs. Even if a physical affair never occurs, an emotional affair can be just as devastating. Affairs of the heart rob a marriage of life, body, and most of devastating of all, soul.