Emotional Aspects of Undergoing Eyelid Surgery from Several Points of View

Kay said, " I've put off writing this article because it is a hard one for me to write.

A few months ago, I got an email from my mother and she had sent me pictures of her, and she looked like she had been beat up. She had told me she was going for eye surgery, but I hadn't realized the date had come and gone, and after looking at her, I felt like a horrible kid. I should have called, and wished her luck but I didn't. The pictures scared me and I called her to see how she was doing."

My mom told me she was ok, but I could tell she was depressed and not feeling very well. I asked her if she wouldn't mind keeping a log of her progress, including pictures - so that I could write some articles about it. I thought it would be helpful for others that are contemplating this type of surgery. She agreed, and then she put my dad on the phone.

My parents are very active in their senior center, with dad being active in the orchestra as a back up conductor, he's also the president of the group, and mom works with the dancers and partiers to throw events and such. They have been ballroom dancing since I was in my teens, and they really are beautiful to watch.

Two black eyes can be scary to see

My dad is something of a comic. He told me he took the pictures of my mom, with the bruises on her face to the senior center to explain to the others where she was and what was going on. My dad says to me, "I gave that picture to one of the guys at the senior center, and he deadpanned, "Do you know what you say to a woman with two black eyes, to which my father replied, no what?" to which the gentleman replied, "nothing you aint already done told her two times before!" I had to admit, I laughed.

Mom told me that she had the surgery because of a medical condition. She stressed that it wasn't done for cosmetic reasons. I had to wonder why it would make a difference, but I guess to some it might. I have heard people say, "you get what you get from the lord, and plastic surgery is vain."

From my own personal experiences I can say without a doubt, without plastic surgery on my palate, my eardrums and my reproductive system, I wouldn't have the quality of life that I have now, and I might even be dead.

With Sheila's experience, she had had one of her doctors suggest that she have plastic surgery on her droopy eyelids, but she lived with it until she realized her peripheral vision was being reduced. She and my dad had been fighting because she felt it was always dark, and wanted the lights on, and he would tell her to turn them off because she didn't need them.

Day of Surgery - sign liability waivers

Then the day of the surgery, they forgot it was day lights saving time so it was hectic getting to surgery on time.

Sheila said, "The day I went in to day-stay-surgery, I had to sign all kinds of waivers. Then the tech ended up putting the IV through the vein and had to put it in a second time. At this I just burst into tears. When the attending nurse asked me what was the matter, I told her I had had other surgeries much bigger than this one and this time I was REALLY AFRAID. What if the doctor slipped and I became blind?"

The nurse assured her that everything would be okay, and she finally calmed down with the help of a little anasthesia.

For three days after the surgery, mom couldn't drive so she was reliant on dad to do things for her that she normally did. That put Dad out of his element and caused a little stress between the two of them.

Seeing both sides - the black eyed beauty and the man who didn't hit her

She told me she felt like a "trophy - wife" when my dad was critical of what she wore going to a funeral for an acquiantance she had met while running a Golden wedding Celebration for the City of Saint Cloud. She had gotten dressed and put makeup over her facial bruises, but there were large bruises on her arm that she had not noticed, and dad asked her to change. She made the remark that my dad doesn't like it when she doesn't look "good".

I remember going to work with a woman who came in with bruises on her arms and face, and she often wore long sleeves and heavy make-up. She finally got out of that abusive relationship after a particularly trying time, but I can only imagine what was going on between my dad and my mom's minds - from the different sides of the spectrum.

Frustrated Wallflower - Slow Down You Move too Fast

Another emotional frustration for mom was being told that she couldn't dance for three weeks. Her doctor didn't want her to jostle the stitches or risk falling but Mom is a shucker and a jiver and when she can't move around and do things for people, she gets frustrated.

She went dancing for two hours on day 7 after the doctor told her it would be OK if she took it easy, but she reported back to me that she got a severe headache and she over did it. (Imagine that! Now I know where I get it from).

Week three she put her contacts back in, and she was told she could wear them for 4 hours but she reported back she overdid it again, and had to apply the wetting drops because her eyes were sore. It would have been better to wear them for a shorter time and work up to the longer hours.

The world is much brighter 4 weeks later, and eyelid surgery was worth it

She says the world looks a light brighter now that her eyes have been done. Four weeks later her bruising is all gone, and she is back to her usual, beautiful self. There is still a little cut that she has to watch out for her and her surgeon says it will be several months before she is 100% healed.

Having eylid surgery like this does affect your mental psyche. Expect a roller coaster ride as you encounter how people feel about your surgery, how you feel physically and mentally before, during and right after the surgery. Bruises cause people to jump to conclusions about possible abuse or they can just be afraid to look at you for a few days until you begin to heal.

Be assured that it will all be over and worth it in just a few short weeks. In about a month, you might even wish you had your eyelid plastic surgery done a little sooner.