Emotional Coping Skills for Holiday Blues

The holidays are a time of cheer and goodwill toward men. For some folks. For other people, the holiday season aggravates bouts of grief, loneliness, worry, guilt and frustration. Negative experiences and emotions can be more difficult at Christmas. Why do negative emotions feel stronger during the holidays? Negative emotions, like sadness, grief, anger and loneliness stand out in more stark contrast against the holiday backdrop of goodness, cheer and happiness. Whether you believe that the 'joy of the holiday' is more of a facade than a reality, or not, the holidays certainly appear joyous. And that where the increased incidence of depression and loneliness sets in, when it feels like all the world but you is celebrating. Let's focus on some positive emotional health strategies to combat holiday-induced depression.

First, if you are battling loneliness, grief or depression, avoid places that exacerbate those feelings. Perhaps you were in a relationship that ended and the holidays evoke memories of that relationship. Don't go to the places that you went together. Seek out new, fresh venues with different faces.

Next if you are grieving the loss of a loved one at the holidays, visit the cemetery where they are buried. Talk with them. Tell them how much you miss them. If you can't make it to the cemetery, light a candle in their memory. Place a few special mementos nearby: photos, a gift from that person, something they once owned. The lighting of a memorial candle has a wonderfully healing power and is recognized for it's therapeutic properties by all religions. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to, whether the loss occurred two months or twenty years ago.

For many people, shopping in large retail stores can create more stress and anxiety. Commercialism and marketing tends to increase depression. Shopping often feels superficial and empty. If you exchange gifts at the holiday, it's very soothing to make personal homemade gifts instead of purchasing gifts. Whether your talent lies in crafts, cooking, wood-working, writing poetry, creating art, making music, sharing of your talent will be healing for you and most appreciated by loved ones. You have the added benefit of financial peace of mind come January when no overwhelming holiday shopping bills come rolling in.

Socrates said, 'Know thyself'. This is especially good advice for the holidays if you suffer from depression. Are you a loner who really prefers cuddling in a warm blanket with a good book and a cup of tea to big gatherings? Then indulge that source of inner peace. Are you an extrovert who loves big parties? Then call a friend and make the rounds this season. Didn't receive any party invitations? Host your own party. Or hit some of the local night spots. Reach out. Get to know people. Buy a round of drinks. Ask someone to dance. A dear friend met the love of her life working as a cocktail waitress. He pursued her for almost a year before she agreed to a date. She has never looked back or been so happy.

Most importantly, know that you are not alone. John Donne said, 'No man is an island unto himself'. There are many lonely people in this world who think, like you, that they are the only one 'at home on Christmas Eve'. If it's too uncomfortable for you to physically reach out, here's an online resource that may help. Daily Strength is a connections source for support groups. Daily Strength can connect you with a support group for just about any issue you may need: illness, emotional issues, family issues, issues with children, grief support. There are forum support groups for situations I've never even heard about. I've read some of the forum threads and have been very pleased with the way people reach out, intelligently, wisely and compassionately to each other. The forum also has protocol guidelines to protect you from connecting with dangerous people inadvertently. If you are uncomfortable, report the issue. Otherwise, there is emotional healing to be found in these gatherings and forums at Daily Strength.

For more on emotional well-being, visit me at www.healthhelp4u.blogspot.com and www.emotionalhealthhelp.blogspot.com . May the spirit of the holidays bring you peace of mind and wellness this season.