Employee Reviews: Turn the Tables and Review Your Boss

Most of us have probably had the pleasure of a performance review at work. They're not a big deal if you are performing well. Maybe your boss isn't doing too well though. Wouldn't it be nice if you could give them a performance review? A review of my former not-so-favorite bosses would probably go something like this...

On a scale of 1 to 5, how well does the employee work with others? Suzy gets a 2. She definitely does not interact well with others. Many of us avoid her at all costs so that we will not have to encounter her overbearing, demeaning comments.

Does the employee effectively manage the unit? No. Quite the opposite here. Suzy micromanages us to the point that we do not do things her way out of spite. Does she really need a daily email recapping everything we did that day, mapped out by the half hour? Forget about it!

How well does the employee implement and maintain policies? I had no idea they knew policies exist. For example, materials in our building are not supposed to go offsite, yet she frequently has us deliver such materials offsite. So nice to know that we will loan anything to anyone, even if we never get it back.

Describe the employee's attitude and management techniques. First of all, let me say that I truly appreciate being a full grown adult spoken to as if I am a moron. Making me feel all of about three inches tall really makes me want to do my job. I also deeply appreciate Suzy's complete unwillingness to do anything beyond standing in one spot, staring at the rest of us as we work. I'd rather she stand there and tell me to stop what I'm doing to move something that would've taken her two seconds, rather than see her actually lift a finger.

Rate the employee's attendance record. She comes and goes as she pleases, and frequently has a convenient "important phone call to make" when heavy work is to be done. She's rarely on time and I don't see her stay til the end of a shift, so of course her attendance record is exemplary.

Does the employee's performance qualify them for a performance based raise? Absolutely. She shows up whenever she wants, hardly works, micromanages us to death, and seems to try her best to make us feel like crap. So yeah, let's waste some more payroll here.