Employment: From an Autistic Point of View

Over the last 13 years of my son's life I have held many different kinds of jobs. I have worked with nice people and I have worked with BAD people. Through it all, Matt has remained steadily beside me, giving silent support when needed. He really shouldn't have had to deal with any of the stress I was dealt, but he did. It's been an interesting ride to say the least.

It wasn't until a few years ago, that it became apparent to him why I was under so much stress. He was starting to show his empathic abilities, so to speak. I would come home in tears, after a particularly stressful day and there he was. He didn't question me. He questioned my boss, at the time. Eventually. I can say this with a smile now, but at the time, it was mildly embarrassing to have my, then 8 year old, son chewing out my boss for making me sad.

So, picture this. Me, Matt and my not-yet husband were standing in the hallway outside the office with my boss on New Year's Eve. My 8 year old son looks her straight in the eye, stamps his foot and says "Why did you fire my mom?!" Actually, I wasn't fired, but for some reason he thought so. I was always telling him that if I didn't meet the deadline I would get fired... So, my boss, nice lady that she was, said to him "I didn't fire your Mom, honey. I gave her a raise!" So, Matt, being Autistic, says (while stamping his foot again) "Why'd you give her a raise!?" To which my boss replied, "Because she's good at her job honey." At this point, Matt just said, "Oh!" and didn't say anything else. But, he was ready to defend my "honor" so to speak, if for one moment he thought I had been wronged by my boss. All I could do at this point was apologize profusely to my boss, hoping, all the while, that she really wasn't going to fire me for his outburst. Blessfully, she understood his condition and didn't hold it against me. At least, not fully.

Eventually, my immediate supervisor was changed to the mother of the company's President. Things really got stressful after that. But, that didn't stop Matt from chewing her out either. He actually went right up to her and asked her why she yelled at me. Her response was that sometimes we both kind of yelled at each other. But, again, she didn't take offense to his actions. She understood his condition. Of course, less than a year later, when Matt witnessed my work-related stress seizure, things became a little more interesting. When I left that company, he was very happy. It showed in everything he did. There were no more outbursts at school, no more agitated concern over me having a bad day at work because of those I worked with.

Last summer, when I started a new job, he was concerned. Periodically, he would ask me if my boss yelled at me. Fortunately, this time around, I had a great boss who actually appreciated me. And told me so. I shared this with Matt, who was pleased. So, when I was fired recently, Matt was understandably concerned. He asked me what happened, and I told him. He actually was able to shrug his shoulders and tell me that I would find something else. The only request he had of me was to make sure that whoever I worked for next didn't treat me like an idiot. (His words, not mine) I had to laugh at his concern, but it is actually very telling.

Kids, even disabled ones, pick up on the stress of their parents. It never really occurred to me to try and hide my feelings from him, as I am a very emotional person when someone hurts me. I am actually glad that Matt has such empathy for others. He understands, although he is kind of young for this, that the world of employment can be stressful. And hopefully, when he gets into the "real" working world, he'll be ready for the challenges. And hopefully, no one will ever treat him the way I was treated.