"Employment Matching" Engines Provide Useless Results

A FRIEND IN JOB SEARCH

Times are rough on the job market, and some employers may want blood from a stone for your work. Those of us unlucky enough to still be in job search have it even worse off...

A close friend of mine has recently entered into search mode with the following qualifications:

- Executive Management experience (10+ years)
- Marketing Procurement (non-agency)
- Public Relations
- Philanthropy & Community Service

(by the way, EMAIL ME if you think you may have a job she'd be interested in)

JOB SEARCH ENGINES

She recently berated her experience with some so-called "job search engines" - web-based resources that lend the promise of making the job search a task of joy instead of a drawn-out ordeal of terror and trauma.

Her own words: Good luck! Yeah, right...

After having had her updated resume reviewed by the best of peers, she loaded her resume and profile information into several of these top job search engines. At the end of the process, she took the option to establish "job agents" that automatically email prospective job matches to her in-box.

HI-TECH AGENTS = LOW-END INTELLIGENCE

While these so called "intelligent job agents" go out there to sniff out prospective jobs for my friend, what they have sent her way show a surprising lack of intelligence.

Here she is - Executive Managementstock - and she gets job results mailed back to her as follows:

- body shop foreman
- body shop technician
- medical duty truck sales
- used truck sales
- emergency equipment
- concierge
- cocktail server
- "entry level"
- restaurant asst manger - Burger King
- car Parts Retail Manager at Pep Boys
- floor technician
- lawn care applicator
- maintenance technician

RIDICULOUS JOB SEARCH ENGINES!

While some of the job openings sent her way were spot-on as prospective openings for her, about 99% of the rest were of the sort we see above. We saved the most ridiculous job title for the last:

- "Lead Marshalling Yard Inspector"

Upon seeing this, she and I turned to each other and burst out laughing.

We had just gotten done watching the 1969 classic film "Battle of Britain", which bore a hilariously ridiculous scene of Luftwaffe Air Marshall Hermann Goering boyishly clapping his hands together while his Luftwaffe fighters and bombers flew across the English Channel to wreak havoc on Britain.

Mind you, Goering was an Air Marshall.

One could only wonder what the title "Lead Marshalling Yard Inspector" meant. But we envisioned it as being some kind of militant yard maintenance service with a penchant for employees who find joy in traipsing about in pith helmets and medal-bedecked uniforms dating back to the Victorian-era, harrumpfing approvingly at their customers' well trimmed shrubberies bristling in the morning sunlight!

The sick thing is, my friend actually enjoys gardening, but she would not want to have the tile "lead marshalling yard inspector" on her resume!

Lead Marshalling Yard Inspector - indeed!

USELESS JOB AGENTS - A LEGAL FORM OF SPAMMING???

With such ridiculous imagery in one hand, and a plethora of useless job agent information on the other - one's smile fades as one wonders at the value of these so-called job search engines. It seems these job portals have arrived at the same level as those insipid spammers - whose incessant emails tout anything Bank Deals in Africa to amazing penis enlargement solutions.

With the trend towards barraging us with hopelessly irrelevant job suggestions, we see numerous job emails arrive at our In-Box as the new legalized form of spam, complete with distracting web-style banner ads to get us to spend money on things we shouldn't spend - because we don't have a job.

What ever happened to the relevant on-line job search?

- John

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