Empty Nest Syndrome: Becoming a Selfish Mother

I am the mother of a teenage son who is about to venture off to college. As a single parent, I have instilled values and morals in my son hoping he would carry these throughout his life.

To some individuals, it seems, I have compromised my own life for the sake of making my son's life better. Giving up on personal relationships and opportunities, all in the name of improving my son's opportunities in life, I guess, to some, this would seem to be rather odd.

As the only true source of parenting for my son, I have chosen to provide my son with unconditional love for the first 18 years of his life and, now, this is about to change for me as well as him. As a single parent, I am about to venture into the next chapter of my life, still providing unconditional love, but learning to become more selfish with my own needs and happiness without carrying a feeling of guilt.

Many years have been spent satisfying the every need of my children. This is common in most single parent homes. With the passing of my son's 18^th birthday, I am now going to embark on a new system of beliefs and actions. I am now choosing a career path and social path that will no longer focus and cater to the needs of children but, instead, focus on my own personal needs.

No longer will I parent by guilt and obligation. With this child now turned into a young adult, I will now step back and allow him to focus on his personal goals, through college, and, in turn, focus on my goals, post-parent. While I am not planning to neglect the emotional needs of my son, I am going to focus more on my own needs and move forward with the life plans I placed on hold when I became a parent.

In my effort to regain my true identity, I've joined a weight loss program, through Weight Watchers, and joined the local gym in an effort to get fit and healthy. These are two goals I long had but had deferred placing into action simply due to the overwhelming stress associated with managing teenagers.

Additionally, I am engaging in active retirement planning and saving planning in hopes of returning to school to finish my own education and pursue a career in culinary arts. In fact, following the guidelines of "The Secret", my focus boards are in place, constantly reminding me of why I do what I do each and every day.

In 10 years, I hope to have a son who is well adjusted and has graduated from college and may even be on his way to having a family of his own. While my decisions to place my life on hold were often met with resistance from family and friends, I feel it was the best decision to ensure the proper balance of life for my children.