Ending a Relationship with a Coworker

You've decided that it's time to end a relationship with a coworker. While it may be easy to become involved with someone at work, it may not be so easy to cut ties when it's over. The following are a few tips on ending a relationship with a coworker.

Hopefully, you both discussed some ground rules before becoming a couple. Perhaps you agreed that if things didn't work out, the ending of the relationship won't interfere with work. If you didn't have that talk, read further.

When it's time to have that "we've got to talk" discussion, ask your coworker to meet at a certain time to discuss ending the relationship. Typically, you wouldn't break up through email or a text message, so this situation isn't any different. Do it in person, preferably outside of work.

Regardless of your reasons for ending a relationship with a coworker, be clear about how you feel. If the coworker asks for specifics, have your reason or reasons already prepared heading into the conversation. Try to get a mutual agreement that ending this relationship will not interfere with work life. Unlike a typical breakup, you will see this person again, so it's prudent not to allow the conversation to become contentious, if possible.

In the subsequent days ahead, it's business as usual. You may pass each other in the hallway. It may feel awkward at first. Acknowledge the coworker as you would anyone else and move on. If you managed to date someone who sits in the same aisle as you, that's a potential sticking point. For sanity's sake, you may have to consider changing your desk location, if that's feasible. If both of you are fine with being that close in proximity, that's all the better.

There is some advice out there that will tell you to write a letter to your coworker outlining your conversation. There are a couple of downsides to writing this letter. First, you never want to put something in writing you may regret. However, if you decide to write such a letter, keep it concise and choose your words carefully. Another downside is that if matters go south, the coworker could just deny ever receiving the letter. Also, any neutral person reviewing the letter could say you wrote it only favorable to you. To some extent, it becomes self-serving.

Ending a relationship with a coworker may pave the way for some time on your own. If you want to take a couple of days off from work, schedule them. If working from home a few days is an option, do it. If there is an opportunity to work out of a different department until things blow over, consider that approach.

Breakups aren't easy, but ending a relationship with a coworker adds another dynamic. Use your best judgment and stay composed. This too, shall pass.