Energy Drinks: Meth for the Masses of Beer in Forward Gear?

10:15 AM on Sunday morning, and the temperature is expected to hit a high of 97. I decide to walk up to the corner gas station/convenience store about three blocks away.

"I'm going to the store, do you want anything?"

My wife answers "no."

"No can of Sugar free Rock Star?"

"I think I have one already."

I leave because there is no need to state the obvious, that I'm going mainly for a pack of cigarettes. I intend to indulge in my one remaining filthy and suicidal habit. She knows, but it's best that these things go unsaid.

I contemplate the idea of vices during my walk, noticing the heat. It's got to be about 97 already. "Maybe a nice cold beer would be just the thing...." but it's Sunday, the liquor store is closed. I could go the 7-11 for some nasty 3.2 beer but wait....I hate alcohol! It makes me feel like total crap! I used to drink a long time ago, but I gave it up long before I decided to abstain from drugs in general.

In the store, there are cans of cold fizzy things that purport to give supernatural powers to the consumer. I look at a couple of sugar-free selections (I can't do sugar anymore either; it does things to me that are too disgusting to share with the public) and end up comparing SoBe's "Adrenaline Rush" with "No Fear." There are only minor differences in the ingredients, but the No Fear has a whole extra milligram of caffeine, and higher levels of a few other ingredients. Most importantly, it has a silver skull with black wings on the front of the can.

I take the can to the counter, where I self-indulgently order my favorite variety of cancer sticks, a premium brand in a blue package with a name that speaks of exotic Middle Eastern locations and rulers of empires long gone. Can I afford them? Well, not really, but I can pay for them. I live at least 4000 dollars below the poverty line, I have three credit cards including one corporate one, and I'm always in a state of "negative capital." Am I ashamed of this? Absolutely not; if the government can get away with deficit spending, why shouldn't I do it?

Walking back home, I pop the tab on the can of No Fear. It doesn't taste that bad actually, it's quite cold, and yes, it does seem to be giving me a little boost. It's something you can drink to feel better, or a least differently than you did before you drank it. It's a beer in forward gear!

Yes, there's nothing like a nice cold can of liquid low-budget meth on a Sunday morning to kick things off. There's something about this stuff, whether in its actual chemical composition or its well researched marketing imagery that is making it the drug of choice for increasing numbers of Americans.

My wife seems to be addicted to sugar-free Rock Star. She keeps trying to get back to plain old coffee, home brewed at industrial strength, but the stuff in the cans is somehow better for her. I happen to agree, there's just something about it that works better than caffeine by itself, although caffeine is the primary stimulant in the majority of these beverages.

Taurine, made famous by the original "Red Bull," the strange tasting and heavily advertised European brew that kicked the whole trend off when it was introduced to the US market in 1997, may have a lot to do with the additional potency of energy drinks.

According to About.com: Alternative Medicine altmedicine.about.com/od/completeazindex/a/energy_drinks.htm

"A German double-blind study compared a taurine and caffeine drink, a caffeine-only drink, and a placebo drink. Stroke volume--the volume of blood ejected with each beat of the heart--was increased only in the group taking the taurine-and-caffeine drink. Taurine appears to play an important role in muscle contraction (especially in the heart) and the nervous system."

But why is America On Speed?

Unless you're irresponsible, antisocial, lacking in ambition, and a firm believer in "lazy-fair capitalism," like myself, you probably need it. The psychological via-economic pressure on workers has been increasing steadily for a long time now. It's not just the necessities that all must have, but the trappings of "success" that seem vital to the self esteem of the "caffeine culture" mainstream, that account for this stimulant-driven lifestyle.

In my personal opinion one would have to be crazy, or "on drugs," or both, to want to live like that, but who am I to judge? The sole redeeming feature of my own life is that it served as an excellent negative example to my son, who's to date, avoided my own errors in judgment. But my countercultural outlook remains, I can't seem to shake it.

A questionable "Conspiracy Scene" document titled Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars allegedly originating with US Naval Intelligence offers one possible answer:

"When a silent weapon is applied gradually, the public adjusts/adapts to its presence and learns to tolerate its encroachment on their lives until the pressure (psychological via economic) becomes too great and they crack up.

Therefore, the silent weapon is a type of biological warfare. It attacks the vitality, options, and mobility of the individuals of a society by knowing, understanding, manipulating, and attacking their sources of natural and social energy, and thei r physical, mental, and emotional strengths and weaknesses."("Silent Weapons" Quoted from version in David Icke's ...and the truth shall set you free...page 385),

Or maybe it's just a conspiracy to sell more energy drinks.

At the age of 49, I find myself still doing menial tasks for the lowest of wages, for the smallest number of hours I can get away with. It's what I choose, it has its drawbacks, but I still have time to write and think. Perhaps it's also some "Atlas Shrugged"* inspired gesture of protest at a hopelessly befouled and corrupt social order. Or maybe I'm just too lazy to do much else.

In spite of all of this, I still consume ridiculous amounts of caffeine to get through my brief but physically demanding 5-hour shift. I've settled on Yerba Mate, a Central and South American herb, also produced in Syria, which contains a seemingly synergetic mixture of caffeine and vitamins.

At 16.00 a pound, it's a bit expensive, and yes, you need to spend a small amount of time mucking around with it. It is however more cost effective than the commercial energy drinks, and on most nights, about a liter of my homebrewed Yerba Mate will get me through. Still, once in a while I give in and buy a 24-ounce can of sugar-free Rock-Star, containing a total of 240 mgs of caffeine complete with screw-on cap for easy resealing, and sip it throughout the shift. There's just something about that stuff.

This morning after I drank the can of "No Fear," I got through about one page of this and then I went back to bed. After snoozing through the hotter part of the day, I got back to work on this and other tasks, sipping on Yerba Mate. At 9:59 PM I'm still going strong. I invite you to draw your own conclusions about this one.

References:

"And The Truth Shall Set You Free"
David Icke, 1995, New Ollerton, Newark, UK Bridge of Love

Ayn Rand "Atlas Shrugged," (1957)
Random House, NY NY

Ask.com:
http://altmedicine.about.com/od/completeazindex/a/energy_drinks.htm

* In Atlas Shrugged Ayn Rand seemed to suggest a peaceful form of protest open to intellectuals, namely the refusal to do anything but manual labor. It's a great excuse for not having a "real job."