Engagement Ring Manners

I was in a room of colleagues when a girl, I'll call her Kamber, spied my ring. She immediately thrust out her ring and began to tell me about the cut and clarity of her 2.5 karat pink diamonds. She told me, in excruciating detail, how much it was worth down to the penny.

I said nothing in reply. I complimented her ring, and directed the conversation elsewhere. She smirked, as though she had been the victor in some undeclared war and in the back of my mind I made a mental note - this little damsel is nothing but Nouveau riche (or new money). She did not know was that on my finger were 3 karats, higher quality metal and a bigger price tag. The most unforgivable sin of all was that she also displayed incredibly bad manners.

Why you don't talk about Price Tags

Let us say that I had taken the opportunity to trounce Kamber at her game - I let her know my ring weighed more and put her in her place. Had anyone else been in that room with a lower price tag, it would have devalued their ring too, and the purposes of engagement rings is to show love. Be associating a monetary value to a symbol of love, you quantify it which can only lead to harm. Or maybe a male colleague was not able to afford his own fiancee or wife an expensive ring and they may have felt guilty about it or even offended watching two females squabble over who's ring was more expensive. It may have felt good to win at the game, but the embarassment that can be caused to others is below the surface and might come right around to bite me later.

Love is love, is love. No matter how much it costs.

Why it looked so bad on her

Sitting among on your girlfiends is one thing - in a case of close friends or relatives you can say whatever you like without fear. You can candidly talk about the price of your ring without fear. However, Kamber had only just met me and we knew nothing of each other. I did not ask for information on her ring, she rather rudely tried to flaunt them in my face. She took great pride in how much her ring cost, which is when I realized that she probably didn't have a lot of money.

"Big hat, no cattle"

In an early economics class I had learned the phrase "big hat, no cattle" which meant that if someone who spent so much time on their image is probably lacking in what is truly substantial. In the case of Kamber, she spoke so highly of her ring, and of it's value that it lead me to the impression that her new beau may have been the first time she had ever had money or been showered with nice things. It's like the person who suddenly struck gold flaunting their money obnoxiously while those who are used to affluence had a more subtle dignity about it.

The real issue in showing off the price of your engagement ring is that the entire point of the ring - a symbol of love, marriage and commitment - is completely devalued. The prize shouldn't be the ring, it should be the man. This competitive game of who gets the bigger ring, at the end of the day, is just so petty.