Enjoy the Day: The Best Wedding Advice I Ever Received

When I was planning my wedding, decades ago, everyone from my sisters to my soon-to-be in-laws gave me advice on how to make the wedding go smoother. I took a lot of the advice as I planned a wedding that included a large wedding party and over 200 guests. All the input was priceless. I didn't realize, though, how much one little piece of advice could be. That small detail was: to enjoy the day to the fullest.

As a very young bride, I was wrapped up in getting together a fantastic formal wedding. I wanted to impress my family and friends with my choices and the perfect execution of my plans. I was so intent on picking out a stunning wedding dress, I nearly forgot to consider how it would be to wear the thing at the wedding. My sister encouraged me to forget about the dress that I could barely walk in and look at dresses that I would be able to move and dance in at the reception. She told me that the most important thing was to create memories of good times for me and my husband-to-be, not just fancy or proper trappings for others.

So, I took the advice to heart in every aspect of the wedding. When choosing the place to have the wedding, I looked for an appealing site. I found a flora-filled atrium of a historic mansion in my fiancé's home city that could be reserved for weddings. There were church-style pews where everyone could sit, but I knew it would be uncomfortable for anyone to sit there for very long. I slipped a note in with the wedding invitations that explained how people might like to bring a seat cushion to make the ceremony more pleasant for them. I reasoned that a crowd full of happy people would help me enjoy my day all the more.

In fact, after the talk with my sister, I geared all my plans towards enjoyment more than stuffy traditional wedding styles. I worked with the caterer to come up with a menu that would be fun for everyone. Lots of finger foods made the buffet a more casual affair. I topped it off with three different types of wedding cake and a chocolate fondue fountain, complete with strawberries and marshmallows for dipping.

My fiancé got into the fun spirit I had set for the wedding. He set up a carriage ride to take us from the mansion to a downtown hotel for the reception. He and I also spent time with a photographer talking about how we wanted to commemorate the happiness of our day.

When the wedding day came, the ceremony was so intense that mothers were crying all over the atrium. But, as we had planned, we turned around after the kiss, thanked everyone for sharing our day, and invited them to please join us at the reception to follow. We were focused on each other, but we also spread our arms out to the guests as we walked back up the aisle. We got into the horse-drawn carriage, waving and laughing as we left for the hotel.

At the reception, we danced together whenever we were not dancing with others. We felt completely free of forced correctness, even though it was a formal wedding in many ways. We enjoyed every minute of our great happy day and the memories are of more than beautiful things--they are of happy people and times.

I have seen many weddings since that day. Some were like ours in the sense that the idea of the wedding seemed to be a celebration. Others, unfortunately, seemed more intent on making some kind of point about what is pretty and what is proper. I am so glad that my sister helped me focus on the fact that the wedding was not for others, but was for me and my fiancé, and only for our happiness. Now I will always remember that day with pleasure.