Enjoy Old-Fashioned American Freedom of Choice at Krispy Kreme Before the American Tea-Aliban Party Takes it Away Forever

If the American Tea-Aliban Party does get to take over the country like they want and send us back to the Dark Ages, one of the things America will lose is freedom of choice. The rollback of the carpet of Americans' freedom of choice began when Dick and the Bush were allowed to steal the 2000 election through the help of anti-choice heroes like Sandra Day O'Conner, Antonin Scalia and their butt-monkey, Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lying Fool Thomas. The Patriot Act and all the other illegal uses of executive power by Bush and Co. have done more to undo freedom of choice in America than anything the Islamic Fascists could ever hope to accomplish. Which is why it was so incredibly wonderful and uplifting to realize that freedom of choice is still alive and well in one of the greatest spots in America.

A Krispy Kreme outlet.

But first, allow me snatch a section from one of standup comedian Brian Regan's funniest and most popular bits:

"They have some weird donuts. There are some donuts that I don't understand who thought of them. They have this one donut...with frosting all over the top and there are sprinkles on it, but the sprinkles are over on just one edge of the donut. For the life of me, I don't know who's looking for that in a donut. Did somebody have that particular of a taste that that's what they're looking for in a donut? You know...they walk into a donut place...Okayyy, I want a donut and I was frosting...all over it. And I want sprinkles...but not all over it. I just want them scrunched all over on the edge. You got anything like that? "We sure do. Freshly baked. We saw you pulling in. It's called our SpringSmitch for Lunatics like you."

The kids and I love this routine from Brian Regan. The younger one especially has always wanted to find this particular donut. Brian Regan says he has seen in more than one donut shop. Me? Well, I guess I do my donut shopping in places where Brian Regan does not. I've never seen it. But, like the young one, I too have hoped to find this Springsmitch for Lunatics.

This is where Krispy Kreme and the freedom of choice that members of the American Tea-Aliban Party like Mrs. Palin want to take from me intersect. I made a promise to the kids to top by the Krispy Kreme and if we could not actually find a Springsmitch for Lunatics, well, I would inquire as the potential for retaining purchase of one within my hand. As is always the case at the local Krispy Kreme, a crowd was ahead of us. Finally our turn arrived and, have seen that our quest for the SpringSmitch for Lunatics was not t be realized as a matter of Krispy Kreme course, I inquired of the helpful young lady if it would be possible to purchase a donut with frosting all over it, but sprinkles on just one side.

I should have made myself clearer. One "side" has two meanings at least when it comes to a circular surface like a donut. It didn't matter that the young lady return a few minutes later carrying a box with three donuts with chocolate frosting on top and nothing but sprinkles on the bottom, however. In fact, we quickly realized that this Krispy Kreme personal was even better than the SpringSmitch for Lunatics. After all, what Brian Regan describes is just a donut with a few sprinkles. Our freedom of choice inside the simulacrum of a United States that members of the American Tea-Aliban Party want to transform onto mythic memory brought us a donut with one entire half covered in chocolate frosting and the other covered in sprinkles.

Lunatics? I hardly think so.

Freedom of choice remains a viable option in America. At least until those who think Sarah Palin actually makes sense are allowed to take over completely. Of course, the leap from Dumbly to Oh-No-Obama to Ayn Palin is hardly one that would challenge the horizontal jumping of Bob Beamon in Mexico City, so enjoy it while it's still here. And go get yourself the donut of your choice-any choice-inside your local Krispy Kreme. You've only got until a CEO like Carly Fiorina manages to sneak her way to the head of the table at Krispy Kreme's headquarters. Once that happens, well, donut choices like SpringSmitch for Lunatics or the T. Paine Express (as my personalized donut is now officially known) will become as quaint a memory as the expectation of privacy when you make a phone call is now.