Entitlement is the Problem and a Self-Indulgent Society is the Cause

COMMENTARY | Read the news on any given day, and at least one article will crop up in which someone hurt someone else because he thought it was his right to do so. An attitude of entitlement is the problem and a "get what I want now" society is the cause.

We often speak of entitlement as affecting only kids or government hand-out programs. An attitude of entitlement, the idea that one deserves certain things without earning them, pervades all sectors of life. We say that kids believe they should get the perks without the work. We say that recipients of government aid programs are lazy takers.

However, entitlement is a cultural attitude, not specific to any age or socio-economic category. Business expects to be granted free trade, but then relies on the government (aka taxpayers) to bail it out. Religious groups expect to express their faith in whatever ways they wish, but don't want to grant other creeds similar freedom. That's why there were 13 original colonies; each wanted freedom to worship but didn't accept differing beliefs. Every time a new group of a different religious flavor came over, it had to start a new colony.

In the application of constitutional rights, we pick and choose which ones to push and which to overlook. Look at the bill of rights, the amendments and that Jeffersonian "right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." How each of those freedoms affects us is controlled by the squeaky wheel principle; if backers are loud enough, and put enough money behind it, the issue tends to takes precedence, regardless of its relative importance and regardless of how other rights are being applied.

So how does this hurt others? When one believes that he deserves to do or have certain things, he often goes to dangerous lengths to get them: the student that punched a teacher, the kid who killed his parents and had a party, the child who drowns a baby to hush its cries, the parent who starves her child while playing video games, the kid who steals because he had a rough home life, the manager that punches a customer, the doctor who rapes little children, the company that exploits its workers, the politicians who pass laws that favor themselves or their friends instead of their constituency, the church members who protest mosques and homosexuals, the congressman who posts lewd photos, the actor who fathers a child with his housekeeper, the shooter who guns down people at a political rally or children at a summer camp. Extortionists, embezzlers, thieves, cheats, rapists, murderers, abusers, control freaks, bombers, pedophiles, all do hurtful things because they believe they are entitled to do so.

Where does this entitlement stem from? Collectively, we promote notions of buy-now-pay-never, the rules apply to everyone but me, instant gratification, me first, and get what you want by whatever means necessary. With this laissez-faire culture, is it anyone wonders that kids learn an attitude of entitlement?

Marilisa Kinney Sachteleben writes from 22 years parenting and 25 years teaching.