Establishing a Bedtime Routine for a Baby

When a baby's little, it's sometimes difficult to lie them down in the crib at bedtime. It's ironic how easily an infant can sleep in the car seat, in the baby swing, in your arms, almost anywhere...except for in the perfectly decorated crib you've prepared for her. Don't despair. While it may not happen after the first night or two, it is possible to help your infant learn how to fall asleep in his own bed. Establishing a bedtime routine for your baby early on in childhood will prove beneficial to both the parents and the child.

A typical bedtime routine for a baby

Does this scenario sound vaguely familiar to anyone?

I sit in the dimly lit nursery, rocking gently in the chair as my baby daughter and I snuggle together. She nurses quietly as I hum every lullaby and mellow song I can remember, with hopes for the perfect ending to the day...sleep. I look down at my precious infant (who's finally asleep) and sigh with relief. I pull her close to my chest and slowly slide to the edge of my seat. Balancing all my weight onto my heels, I begin to lift off from the rocking chair, one inch at a time. Once I'm finally standing, I glance down at my sleeping baby cautiously...phew, she's still asleep. I try to control my breathing (which seems surprisingly loud in the stillness of the room) and we begin the journey to the crib at a turtle's pace. After several minutes, I reach the side of the bed with my sleeping child still snoring softly. I lean over the railing as far as my body will reach, still cradling my daughter close to me, and lower her cautiously onto the crib mattress below. Once she's there, I continue to keep my hands on her for fear she'll miss my body heat and awaken again. Another five minutes goes by before I attempt to creep away from the bedside. Even then, I linger near the door listening for her to squeak or stir. Once I'm convinced she's finally sound asleep, I tiptoe out the door and close it gently and then, and only then, let out my breath and relax my muscles. I wander into the living room to relax for a while and then I hear it...WHAA, WHAA, WHAA! And the process begins again.

This is a typical bedtime routine for many new parents. When my daughter was an infant, it was for me, too. I was okay with it, too. I was tired but figured sleepless nights were a rite of passage for all parents of infants. It wasn't until I had a conversation with a mom of four kids that my thoughts changed. The poor woman looked like she could barely drag herself around, not to mention deal with her energetic children. During our talk, she revealed the reason. She needed sleep. She was staying up half the night battling with her kids over bedtime and trying to keep them in bed. Mind you, these children were not babies. Her youngest was about 3 years old and the oldest was 10 years old. Now, I have to be honest, her story scared me! I didn't require a ton of sleep but I did want some. My mind started picturing my daughter and I still performing our bedtime ritual when she was 10 years old and I knew it was time to try something new.

My method for establishing a bedtime routine for a baby

Here's what worked for me and my baby.

The first night, my baby and I kept a similar bedtime routine with the rocking, nursing and singing, but I only held her until she was done nursing. I did not put her to sleep. Instead, I gently placed her in the crib and rested on a cot set up beside her bed. Of course, she whimpered and cried at first. This was not what she was used to happening. I comforted her softly but left her in the bed. There were a few times she became inconsolable and I did pick her up. I loved on her for a few minutes and place her back in the crib. We continued this new routine for the next few nights. Each night I gradually moved my cot farther away from my daughter. She began to learn how to go to sleep on her own, but still had the comfort of knowing mommy was close by if she needed her. After about 5 days, I took the chance and left the baby's room completely.

It's important for me to note that not all children react the same way to a change in bedtime routines, but establishing them early in life will help the baby and the parents get more sleep and have a more restful sleep. If your baby seems very resistance to change, you may want to begin by trying this bedtime routine at naptime instead of nighttime. It will ease him or her into it more gradually.

Also, there will still be times the baby may awaken in the night and cry out for you. I've never been a supporter of letting them "cry it out" at that young of an age. Sometimes babies whimper in their sleep and don't really need you. If the crying continues for more than a few minutes or sounds urgent, go to your child. Check on the infant to make sure she's not sick, hungry (this may be a growth spurt), or in need of a diaper change. Try to keep the lights off or dim and refrain from talking to the child, if possible. Attend to the baby's need and then place her back in the crib.

This process may sound like a lot of work and, truthfully, it is at first. It will pay off, though. Your baby will learn how to fall asleep on his own and, therefore, be able to put himself back to sleep if he awakens in the night. Establishing a healthy, effective bedtime routine begins when the child is young and flexible. It can still be done when the child is older, but you will most likely meet with more resistance.

Good luck and get some sleep!