Ethical Love Spells for Witches, Wiccans and Pagans

If you have been practicing magic for any length of time, or if you have been reading up on magic and spell casting, you've probably come across the love spell ethics warning. Casting a spell to make someone fall in love with you is, to many Wiccans, Witches and Pagans, one of the most unethical spells you can cast, and it is believed it will result in negative karma. And I can't say I disagree- entirely.

The Ethics of Love Spells

I do agree that casting a love spell on some specific target, or some kind of spell to keep someone in a relationship with you or force them to return to you, is totally unethical. It's the equivalent of casting a spell for emotional bondage. You might as well have cast a spell on the person to make them your slave. It's the same thing. If you disagree, or think it's okay "in some cases," consider this: think of somebody you never really liked, or some ex-lover that you have been relieved to get out of your life. Now what if they cast a spell on you to make you love them?

When it comes down to it, you really can't force a person to love you. At least not in a pure, positive way. What you're really doing is making them obsessed with you. Obsessive love can be frustrating for both parties- the person under the spell can't stop thinking about or wanting the other person, but doesn't really like that person any better. They can actually become quite bitter and treat the person they can't stop obsessing over with disdain and frustration.

Meanwhile, the person who thought this lover was all they ever needed to be happy discovers that this relationship is not all it's cracked up to be. Unfortunately, they can't seem to make a clean break from it even when they want to. On top of it, they're now going to suffer karma for taking away someone's free will and manipulating someone.

You Have Another Option

While you might agree with me that putting a love spell on anyone else is, in fact, unethical, there's nothing unethical about casting a love spell to help you find love. In this case, you're not manipulating anyone or violating their free will. You're not casting the spell on someone else. You're casting it on yourself, to help yourself find a romance. If you are careful, this will not force anyone's feelings on any part, it will simply provide a way for you to stumble upon someone you might be interested in. What develops after that will be entirely natural. You will magically make it possible to meet the person, but will not be magically bound to the person emotionally, nor will this person be bound to you out of anything except a possible interest.

The important thing to remember when casting this love spell is not to concentrate on any specific person in particular. In fact, if you do have a hopeless crush on someone, it is probably best that you don't even bother with this spell, lest you might subconsciously be thinking of that person. Instead, try getting together with that person through mundane means (give them a call, ask them out for coffee), or try doing a spell first to help you forget that person or get over that ex before proceeding.

Love Spell for Finding a Potential Romance

Spell Components:

A pink or red candle

A service candle

A heat-proof container, such as a cauldron or aluminum pot

Rose oil

A Pen

A piece of paper

Jasmine or lavender incense

Other Items:

Background music

Lighter or matches

Two candle holders

Pin, needle or knife

Your regular ritual tools (optional)

Ideal Magical Timing:

Friday

Moon in Taurus

Crescent Moon (Waxing)

Preparation:

If you have a regular ritual altar, set it up as you normally would for ritual. If you don't have an altar, set up a table with the spell components on them.

Take a bath, dribbling some rose oil into the water. As you bathe, relax and meditate, envisioning all the love you have to offer the right person. Open your chakras, if you like, specifically concentrating on the heart chakra. After your bath, prepare yourself as if you were going on a date- fix your hair, clean your nails, shave or apply make-up, dab some perfume or cologne on. You can dress up if you like, or just put on a clean robe or ritual garb, or go skyclad (naked) if you prefer.

Ritual Opening

Start your music, if you would like to use it. If you feel some songs might be distracting, consider finding soft instrumental music. Light your service candle. Light your incense.

If you have a traditional ritual, such as casting a circle, calling the quarters, or invoking Gods/Goddesses, begin this way. By using your routine that you feel comfortable with, this is the best way to slip into ritual consciousness.

If not, simply sit quietly and envision a giant silvery-pink sphere engulfing the entire area.

Casting the Spell

Take the paper and pen. Begin to relax and visualize the kind of person you would like to meet. Begin writing things down about this person. Don't write specifics about anyone you know; just write qualities you look for in a mate. It can be anything important to you, such as, "good sense of humor," or, "caring and attentive," or, "loves sports and camping." If you like, you can even write physical traits. This is what you desire, so you can be honest, but try not to limit your options by being excessively picky.

As you write, you are engaging in creative visualization, and thus beginning to raise energy. You can sit there and write about, or fantasize about, your perspective love interest for as long as you enjoy it. When you are finished, lay the paper on the candle or altar.

Now you are ready to really raise energy. Using a pin, needle or knife, carve the sacred rune KENAZ (which looks like this symbol: < ) into the top of the pink candle, about an inch from the wick. Alternately, you could just scratch in a heart-shape if it holds more meaning to you.

Pour some rose oil into your receptive hand. That is, opposite your dominant hand- so if you're right-handed, pour it into your left hand; if you're left-handed, pour it into your right hand.

Hold the pink candle in your other hand at the bottom of the taper. Begin rubbing the oil onto it from the wick to the bottom, repeatedly, to dress the candle. As you rub, focus on your intent to find love. Pour this desire "mentally" into the candle. You may do this by envisioning it as a colored energy cloud, and envision the candle absorbing it. Continue doing this for a few mintues, picking up speed, until the candle feels as if on it's own it is pulsating with energy and sparkling with electricity.

When you feel you are done, set the candle into the candle holder. Say these or similar words:

As I light this sacred flame,

May it be a universal beacon-fire

To bring me the relationship

I would desire

Light the pink candle with the service candle. Take your paper that you have written on and roll it up into a tube. Say these or similar words:

I seek someone like this to love;

I seek someone like this who could love me;

May the powers of the Sacred Flame guide us to each other

By My Will and Word, so mote it be!

Light the paper on the flame, and hold it up to help it begin to burn. When it is burning well, and before it burns your fingers, drop it into the cauldron or pot to burn itself out.

Begin meditating, but this time envision how it would feel- both physically, and emotionally- to have your lover with you. Try to feel what it would feel like to be held, kissed, to walk hand in hand, to laugh together. Try to feel how you would feel inside when this happens. Hold this meditation for as long as you like.

Ritual Closing

Follow your traditional ritual format if you have one. Hold a simple feast, if you like, of strawberries and champaign, or chocolate (something you associate with a romantic date). Thank your deities and the quarters, and release the circle.

If you don't have a traditional ritual format, simply envision the silvery-pink bubble popping, and the residual energy being released into the universe.

Clean up and carry on.

Know that it is done. Try not to dwell on it, or if it will work. Do something to forget about the spell and bring you back to the mundane world, like watching television or doing some chores.

Keep your eyes open for the next moon cycle to see who you will meet. You may meet several people. It's okay to go on a few dates. Remember, you're not forcing anyone to love you, you're just providing yourself with opportunities to meet someone, just like if you had sign up for a dating service. See what develops.