Etiquette in Business

Etiquette consultants are in quite the demand nowadays. Part of the reason might be that we are addicted to a quick fix and letting someone else do the work. Floundering in life? Hire a life coach. Need to lose a few pounds? Hire a trainer and a nutritionist. Looking for a job? Hire a resume consultant. Tired of your living room? Hire a decorator. And so on. You get the picture.

Another reason could be that parents don't teach manners anymore. I think manners became old-fashioned. Parents began perceiving it as stodgy and stifling to teach their children to say "Mr." and "Mrs." to older adults; to say "excuse me" when brushing past someone in a crowded area; to say "thank you" even when you didn't like the gift, because you are thankful for the love you are receiving with it; or to hold open doors for other people. Plus, manners take time and we are always in such a hurry.

Because etiquette, that big word that consultants and business are making money teaching, is manners. In fact, Merriam-Webster defines etiquette as:

"the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life." And the word manners carries this definition:

"social conduct or rules of conduct as shown in the prevalent customs."

The world is changing rapidly. Sometimes people are unsure of what the correct rules of social conduct are now. The workplace is becoming more and more diverse, with lots of different customs showing up at work every day. And then there are the unwritten rules that any family, society, or business place operates with. The unwritten rules, you will just have to keep your eyes, ears, and mind open to learn.

Here are some generally accepted niceties considered to be mannerly or etiquette in the business environment.

The number one thing to remember about etiquette is to treat the people around you with courtesy and thoughtfulness. All the things you probably tell your kids to do: apologize when you upset someone; consider other people's feelings; don't raise your voice; don't interrupt; and act as if your grandma is watching you, are basic rules of conduct in the workplace as well.

Be on time and be prepared for meetings. Thank everyone who participated.

Return calls as soon as possible. Even if you don't have the answer to a question someone asked, let them know you heard them and you are working on it. Remember, it is just as important to have good etiquette and to be respectful on the phone as it is in person.

Email is a great tool, but lose the email and instant messaging language. Use proper language, sentence structure, and spelling. Include a meaningful subject line, and sign your emails with a personal signature. And don't use caps when emailing....caps say you are shouting.

Listen. That's the only way you are going to learn office politics and define appropriate behavior for your specific workplace.

Look good. Make sure you are clean, your clothes aren't unduly wrinkled or twenty years out of style, your hair is trimmed and so on. It was fun to "find your style" in college, but really, it's just rude in the business world.

Practice a good, firm handshake and calm, confident eye contact. These two items of body language are often someone's first impression of you.

Proper etiquette is an important part of making a good first impression. But if you mess up, have a bad day, forget an important client's name, and start griping before you've completely hung up the phone, forgive yourself. Don't be so concerned about doing the right thing that you become too insecure to deal with people.

The most important thing to remember if all the rules you've heard and read just aren't sticking is, to make the people around you feel comfortable and special. That is the true meaning behind etiquette, business or otherwise.