Etiquette for Visiting Someone in the Hospital

Being in the hospital is not an easy thing to have to deal with. When someone is ill in the hospital it's hard to know what to do and what not to do. You want to be sympathetic but at the same time don't want to overwhelm someone who is trying to recover from an illness. Knowing what to do and what not to do will help your visit go more smoothly and make you and the patient feel comfortable with future visits.

DO:

•Be supportive without expecting anything in return.

A lot of people provide support but then unknowingly expect something in return. If you're going to visit someone in the hospital to be supportive then do just that. A patient shouldn't feel the burden of having to give back. You're going to visit because you care and want to give. You are not going to get something in return. Just because a patient is stuck in bed it does not make them available to be your therapist. They have enough of their own healing to do and don't need the stress of having to hear the problems of someone else.

•Speak to the nurses.

Before coming to visit someone in the hospital it might be a good idea to speak with a nurse. This will give you an idea ahead of time what to expect when you walk into a patient's room. This also gives you the opportunity to find out what is ok to bring and what should be left at home. Most patients are already on a regimen that was ordered by their doctor. Straying from these instructions can have the potential of being dangerous for the patient.

•Give the patient privacy.

If a doctor or nurse comes into the room to check on a patient it is a good idea to leave the room. If a patient feels at ease having you in the room they will let you know. Someone is more likely to refrain from saying things that may be important to their healthcare because they don't feel comfortable doing so in front of other people-this rule applies to family as well. Not everyone shares everything with their family members.

DON'T:

•Don't Ask "How Are You?"

You already know how they are. They're in the hospital and don't need the extra frustration of having to answer a question that has an obvious answer. People naturally use the phrase "how are you" to start a conversation. Using that phrase when we know what the answer is going to be can be annoying and aggravating for someone who is ill. Also remember that the majority of people in the hospital are usually being administered pain medications. The effects of these medications alone are enough to irritate someone.

•Don't offer unsolicited medical advice.

Patients in the hospital don't need to hear your opinions about their condition or how to treat it. There may be things that make you feel better but that does not mean that your methods will work for everyone. Don't talk about someone else that you know who has been through the same thing. It does not comfort a patient, it only aggravates them, especially if your story has an ending that is not a positive one. Someone in the hospital is already getting enough advice from their doctors. They don't need the confusion of having to make decisions about their healthcare because they are being overwhelmed with unsolicited advice. If a patient wants your advice they will ask.

•Don't tell the patient that you know how they feel.

Because you want to be sympathetic you're tempted to tell someone in the hospital that you know how they feel. You don't. Being compassionate and telling a patient that you can relate to their frustration is different from telling them you know what they're going through. Hearing those words can easily anger a patient, especially one that makes frequent visits to the hospital. Show true empathy by offering to listen and be supportive. No matter what a patient says, positive or negative, they need someone to listen to their feelings without judgment and unwanted opinions.