Eulogy for My Mother

In Loving Memory of Marian I. Levang

b. 2/10/1934 d. 6/14/2011

Marian Irene Elder Levang was my mother.

She was also Mom to Mark, Sonja, Erika and Tanya. She was Grandma to 11 children and Great-Grandma to several more. And she was sister, aunt, and friend to countless others.

Each of us came to know Marian under many different circumstances. But whether you were able to know her by being related to her, working with her, bowling together, playing Yahtzee or Dominoes, being a neighbor, waiting on her at a restaurant, gambling with her in Las Vegas, or whatever your experience together, my mother touched the lives of everyone she met.

You did not have to be related to Marian to know that she could be stubbornly independent and ornery. She even told her nurses, "It's your PITA girl again!" (For those who do not know "PITA"--it stands for Pain-in-the-___.)

Marian was genuine. She did not mince words and said exactly what was on her mind. What you saw was what you got.

Mom was unbelievably generous...sometimes to a fault. She was willing to give others the shirt off of her back or the food off of her plate. Over the years, she allowed many others to share her home when they needed a place to stay. She also baked countless loaves of breads and cookies, and fixed many meals, only to give them away.

Whatever she did for others, she did as privately as possible. You see, recognition was NEVER Marian's goal.

Marian was a strong and courageous woman. Her life was not an easy one and it was rife with challenge. She lost her own mother as a young girl. She, herself, became a single parent and had to put up with five teenagers. If that does not take courage, nothing does!

In her last several years, Marian faced the challenges of declining health, not only with strength and courage, but also with dignity.

Marian had a sense of humor. Sometimes it was incredibly silly. Just ask her children about her duck voices and dancing around the kitchen in her muumuus or some of her other crazy antics.

Sometimes her humor was sarcastic. She could deliver a zinger that you never saw coming. And sometimes, her humor was so dry that, unless you knew her well, you were left wondering whether she was kidding or serious.

She also had a sense of good-natured competitiveness. Thanks to my sister, Sonja, and Mom's friend, DeeDee, many of us were sucked into numerous games of Dominoes and Yahtzee where the banter was flung about freely about who was the bigger cheat.

Mom was also one of the most patriotic people I have ever known. She loved her country and she supported the troops for as long as I can remember. While I was in basic training she sent what she called "Don't Care" packages to me. And throughout the years she worked with organizations to continue her support of all veterans.

Marian had so many diverse, and sometimes conflicting, qualities that it could be difficult to understand her. She did not like to talk about her past hurts, yet she was keenly sensitive to the pain in others.

She would do so much for others, but was not often able to ask for help when she needed it. Yet, as she neared the end of her life, she began to allow others to see a vulnerability that she had kept hidden from so many of us for many years. Her friends and family were finally able to rally around her so that she could maintain the independent lifestyle she so dearly cherished.

By doing so, she gave many of us a gift...and that gift was the revelation of a gentle, but tough as nails; vulnerable, yet courageous; loving woman.

Thank you, Mom, for the gift of life and the gift of love!