Even More Clean Words that Sound Dirty

It's time once again boys and girls for another edition of Clean Words that Sound Dirty. As you may have learned from the previous articles of this series-Nine Clean Words that Sound Dirty and More Clean Words that Sound Dirty-there are a lot of words in the English language that are in fact perfectly innocent but to the ear of a guy like me immediately bring sex to mind. But then the word "hello" brings sex to my mind, which, by the way, has gotten me in trouble on more than one occasion.

Anyway, in this article I present to you eight more words that sound filthy but really aren't. In each case, an example is provided to illustrate both the correct and incorrect uses of the word.

Read at your own risk.

Fuchsite

It's a place where people have sex, right? No, fuchsite is a greenish colored mineral known as muscovite.

Example: As he drove away from the fuchsite, Dennis turned his thoughts away from the cheap prostitute and back to his wife patiently waiting at home for him to install their new fuchsite countertops.

Cockchafer

If a man were to tell you an unwashed jockstrap is a cockchafer, he might be right but technically he would be wrong. A cockchafer is actually a type of beetle that is particularly destructive to trees.

Example: As Terrell put on his cockchafer in preparation of the big football game, he noticed a large cockchafer crawling on the locker room floor.

Backhoe

No, it's not a prostitute who specializes in rear entry; a backhoe is a kind of tractor used for excavating.

Example: After riding a backhoe at the construction site all afternoon, Jasper took a shower and headed to the seedy part of town to see if he could find a backhoe to ride all night.

Hoarfrost

When a prostitute gets her hair colored, it's called a dye job-not a hoarfrost. The frozen dew covering grass on a cold morning is hoarfrost.

Example: The barefoot hooker scurried quickly across the hoarfrost on her way to the beauty salon to get a hoarfrost.

Titter

You're probably thinking a titter is a plastic surgeon that specializes in breast enhancement, but actually it is a word for nervous laughter.

Example: Tiffany let out a titter as the handsome titter examined her new C-Cup-sized breasts with his cold hands.

Penal Colony

Did you think a penal colony is a place with lots of male genitals? Well, in a sense it is because a penal colony is a prison.

Example: Rod quickly learned in his years at the penal colony that if you're not careful, the shower can turn into one wet and wild penal colony.

Disseminate

Disseminate may sound like another word for ejaculate, but its actual meaning is to spread widely.

Example: After a sex-filled semester in which he disseminated inside dozens of cute coeds, Todd had no idea he had disseminated syphilis throughout the university's entire student body.

Paradiddles

Though this word may sound like it is referring to two penises, paradiddles are drum beats.

Example: Howard and Lester engaged the audience with paradiddles while the two percussionists slyly pulled out their paradiddles undetected behind the strategically placed snare drums.

So there you have it everyone. You are now armed with another list of naughty-sounding words with which to amuse your friends at the next party-assuming your friends are like my friends and have consumed gallons of liquor and snorted a ton of funny, white powder.

And remember, if you're ever in the neighborhood, stop in and say "hello."

Reference: Dictionary.com