Even More Dumbasses Who Can Go Away

Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky, but I have developed an almost psychotic hatred for a majority of the dumbasses who currently inhabit our planet. Unfortunately, I am not a violent man nor do I own any weapons, so my shrink says the only thing I can do to deal with my anger is through my writing. I have vented three times before with Some People Who Can Go Bye-Bye, More People I Hate, and More People We Can Eliminate. The good thing is that I usually feel better after writing these articles; the bad thing is there seems to be an endless supply of dipshits who make me want to throw empty beer bottles at my TV.

Here is the latest collection of pains-in-the-ass who can go spend eternity dead.

All the idiots concerned about their 2nd amendment rights

Relax morons-no one is going to take your precious guns from you. Our forefathers' ambiguous wording of the 2^nd amendment has all but assured that no court will ever take away your right to own penis extensions. The bright side to all of this is that each additional gun in your possession increases the chances that you'll accidentally-or even intentionally-blow your brains out. And the world will be a much better place.

The asswipes who keep circulating e-mails promoting right-wing statements falsely attributed to such celebrities as George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Robin Williams and Andy Rooney.

Stop it! These men never said anything remotely like this. And while we're at it, why is every politically oriented e-mail filled with right-wing garbage. Don't you cretins have anything better to do? Some of us don't consider pressing "1" for English a major hardship. Keep your brainless, bigoted bullshit to yourself. And if you are so bothered by living in a diverse society, take one of your guns and kill yourself. Please!

Celebrities who appear on every talk show promoting a movie

Every show has the same overpaid pile of crap showing the same damn 30-second clip from his or her latest 2-hour abomination. Enough is enough! The clip you showed on Letterman was all I needed to decide $8.50 a ticket to see your stupid film is way more than I'm willing to spend.

Right-to-lifers who oppose stem-cell research

Make up your goddamn minds! Stem-cell research will likely result in finding cures for terminal diseases. What am I missing here? And many of you numbskulls favor the death penalty. What part of "right-to-life" does that fall under? Call yourselves something else-like "clueless."

The guy on the Travel Channel who eats live bugs and squid brains and bat poop and tells us they have "a wonderful nutty taste"

Hey, here's an idea! You want a wonderful nutty taste? Eat a nut!

Brett Favre

As of today you are still retired. Tomorrow-who knows? I don't give a rat's ass whether you play or retire. Just make a damn decision and go with it so I don't have to hear about it any more.

The dimwits who claim Barack Obama wasn't born in the U.S.

Despite nary a shred of evidence-and an actual birth certificate showing he was born in Hawaii--some conservatives insist Obama was born outside the United States and therefore is not eligible to be president. Of course evidence means little to people who believe there's an invisible man in the sky who favors America over all other nations. Even if Obama came from Neptune, what difference does it make? Lincoln was born in Kentucky and they let him be president.

Lance Armstrong

I've had enough of this guy. He rides a bike. Whoopdie-freakin'-doo! I know how to ride a bike.

Those thousand pound fat-asses on Oprah who are always talking about their weight-loss programs

How the hell do you reach a point where walls have to be removed in order to get you out of your house? You'd think once you're tilting the scales at around 400 pounds and you've accidentally killed your cat by sitting on him, you're gonna say, "Maybe I better eat a couple less boxes of donuts today."

The Jonas Brothers

They suck.

Glenn Beck

This bonehead is in a battle with Rush Limbaugh for the title of "Biggest conservative blowhard in America." Beck's recent statement that Barack Obama is a racist with deep-seeded hatred for white people means that Obama-the son of a black man and a white woman-apparently hates his mother, his grandmother, half of himself, and one-quarter of each of his daughters. Hey Glenn, I know thought is rarely involved in any of the crap that spews from your smelly pie-hole, but next time think before you speak and then just tell the truth-you are a white man with a deep-seeded fear of a racially changing America.

And while we're on the subject...

White people who complain about being victims of racism

When you are being chased down by men in white sheets on horseback and being beaten and hanged from trees, we'll talk. Until then, you have nothing to bitch about. This country is and always has been run and controlled by white men. I've been white all my life and the only thing I haven't been allowed to participate in because of my color is dancing.