Everybody Loves a Doormat & People Pleaser

First let me start out by saying I am a recovered doormat and people pleaser. Well, at least that's what the world use to call me. I just thought I was a good, loving, hardworking, compassionate person and a dedicated Christian.

I spend most of my time these days very much alone. The reason I'm alone is because everyone loves having a doormat and people pleaser around, but STOP being one, and watch people disappear quicker than the Rapture. This says a lot about humanity doesn't it?

Don't get me wrong, I am still a very loving, caring person, and would do anything for anyone who treats me with respect, and kindness. Speaking of which I have gotten more momentary respect form a homeless person I gave a dollar to, than the people in my life that supposedly love me. How sad is that. So, what epiphany came along that stopped me from being a doormat and people pleaser? Well, I hate to disappoint you but there was no miraculous moment that cured me. It was as simple as I woke up one day and couldn't take it anymore!

Yes, for some reason we have become a society that thrives on waiting for this enlightening moment that is bestowed upon us that will change us forever. Yeah right! You may be waiting a long time. Perhaps that's why some people with addictions go through recovery programs more times than any one can count. It's not about an epiphany, it's just about realizing you have had enough, and work your butt off to change it.

The first thing you must realize is, that it is HARD to change. We are creatures of habit, and stubborn as well. No matter how uncomfortable something is, it is still our pacifier, right or wrong. Yes, it true something that is truly horrible can also be very comforting to us, and in the end it's WHAT WE KNOW. Learning something new can be terrifying. This is why people give up on change even if it's in our beast interest.

So, what's a totally EXHAUSTED, doormat and people pleaser to do? You have to make up your mind if you are willing to keep on doing what your doing until you are exhausted to death, or into some stress related disease, or push the envelope and change. It's as simple as that. No magic wands, no JUST getting off the hook. You have to make a conscious decision to change, and DO WHAT IT TAKES to change your life and way of interacting with others. Sorry, NO easy solutions here!

Yes, I woke up one day and couldn't take it anymore. From that day forward it has been a struggle everyday. Some days I did better than others. However, I never gave up on the fight. Do, I slip every now again? Perhaps, but so very rarely, I can proudly call myself RECOVERED< and not recovering. NO, I don't believe all people are recovering their whole life. Some mad need help all their life, and that's OKAY. If say you need AA forever, that's better than relapsing and making yourself and life miserable. But please know some people can fully recover. It doesn't make them better, just different.

My rule of thumb is ALWAYS do what it takes. Whether that means for a while, or forever. The most important thing is we only have one life and we should be happy, and content. Just like freedom, happiness, contentment and peace of mind is NOT FREE so, cowboy-up, and do whatever it takes for the greatest ride of your life!