Everyday Memories

Thoughts of you invade my mind;

I can see you in my dreams;

Just the way you used to be;

I can see your girlish grin;

And those aqua eyes that drew me in;

There was no booze or cigarettes;

No angry words or sad regrets;

Now all I have is a granite stone;

An empty house where I live alone;

Our children grown, and have all since gone;

Without you here, I just can't go on;

How I dread when evening shadows fall;

I listen for your footsteps in the hall;

Sometimes I cry as I call out your name;

I know I only have myself to blame;

The day will come when I'll be free;

From these every day memories;

I will walk right through death's open door;

And I'll be missing you no more;

I will finally get the chance to say;

The things I should have said every day;

I would beg forgiveness from the Lord above;

And we will live forever in light and love

Dear readers,

It has taken me a while to put this poem together, partly because of my work schedule, but mostly because I was waiting for the right words and verses to come together. This poem is based on a conversation that I had with my stepfather following my mother's death in October, 2003. They were married for almost 40 years, but it was a rocky relationship due mostly to his alcoholism. My stepfather was a man who could not talk openly about his feelings. He was raised in the depression era, and he was old enough to be my mother's father. He never apologized to anyone for anything that he ever did, but yet it was evident that he was, in fact, very sorry. There was no denying his grief after she died, and he often told me how "lost" that he was without her. Today, Feb 1, is the second anniversary of his passing. I am a bit "lost" without them both.