Everything I Learned About Morality I Learned from the Oompa-Loompas

The Oompa-Loompas were wise beyond their years, infact I learned how to be an effective parent and a moral person from them.

Lesson One: Don't be a glutton: Eating large amount of chocolate will make you fat and sick. You could fall into a chocolate river some day and nearly be turned to fudge.

Lesson Two: Don't chew gum with your mouth open. You could chew the wrong piece of gum someday and turn into a giant blueberry. Wow great advice to avoid the whole blueberry thing.

Lesson Three: Don't spoil your children. One day you could be living the high life and then get dropped down a garbage shoot. Ok so no singing on top of garbage shoots, good to know.

Lesson Four: Don't watch too much TV. It will make you do strange stuff, like getting sent over the ceiling into millions of little pieces only to be re-materialized into a 3 inch imp. Ok got it, watch less TV and I can live in Happiness like the Oompa-Loompas.

Disclaimer: This was meant to be funny, this is in no ways rules to live by or lesson on how to be a parent, and it is merely only humor.