Excuses and Other Lies We Tell

One of my favorite quotes about excuses is one my aunt liked to use. "An excuse is just a lie with a coat on." I don't know that she can be attributed with it's origins, but the quote cuts right to the brutal truth about excuses. They are basically lies that we tell others and that we tell ourselves.

I am not talking about reasons, because there can be legitimate reasons why you do or do not do something. If you didn't show up on your mothers birthday because you were in a coma; well, that's a reason. If you didn't show up because you had a lot of work to do or you were too tired to go and made something up; that is an excuse.

The excuses that generally keep us from achieving more in our lives are the ones we tell ourselves that we sometimes even believe to be true, but they just aren't.

"I just don't have time." - You rarely run into an excuse maker who doesn't use this one. It is so overused, by so many, that most people will agree that time is definitely in short supply when you use this excuse. The truth is, we all have the same amount of hours in a day. You decide how you spend those hours and to what tasks you will assign priority. So, if anyone is achieving a result you want and you aren't, it is not because of the time factor. You just aren't doing the activities necessary to achieve the goal.

"I have to do _____________ (insert activity here)." - There is almost no activity, job or action that you MUST make or do. We all have free will and the ability to make decisions. If you don't like your job, get another one. If you aren't happy with your weight; start eating right, exercising and living a healthier lifestyle. This one is so strongly ensconced in our society that other people are always telling us what we MUST do, as well as us telling ourselves. This does not mean that every choice and change will be easy for you or work out just right, but you do have the power of decision. A great example here was when I was employed at a job in the federal government. I had enough years in that I made an obscene amount of money, had great benefits and the job security was so good that it would have probably taken an act of Congress to remove me from my job. (Maybe not, but you get the idea. I had a really good thing going.) Problem was I hated it. Couldn't stand going in every day and when I expressed a need to make a change my "friends" would tell me that I wasn't going anywhere because you just don't quit a job like this. And that I probably didn't have the guts to give up all the money and perks. I proved them wrong the day I walked in and cleared out my locker. Was it easy to give up? No, but it was worth it for me and my peace of mind.

"It's not my fault." - Excuses are used often to avoid taking any real responsibility. It is only when you accept your responsibility, that you can grab hold of the attitude and the actions you need to succeed. You will never achieve all that you can if you are giving the power of your decisions away to others. Without personal responsibility, you can never acknowledge and correct the behaviors that are keeping you from achieving your goals.

"I just can't." - Probably the biggest one of all. Change that from "I just can't" to "I just don't want to" and we are right on the money. I can't quit smoking. Just don't pick one up. Don't buy them, don't borrow them, just stop smoking them. I can't lose weight. My best friend says she can't lose weight yet she refuses to stop eating a fast food breakfast every morning. She insists on mashed potatoes AND macaroni and cheese with every meal. She can lose weight, she just doesn't want to make the lifestyle adjustments needed to do so. I can't anything. Most of these excuses are thinly veiled lies covering up the fact that you just don't want to make a change.