Existentialism in As I Lay Dying

As I Lay Dying depicts the tragi-comic emotional and physical journey through the characters consciousness. Because the characters are threatened by the fear of aloneness, they attempt to find a substitute to compensate for love they are not receiving. Purpose of existence is defined by the character's meaningful bond or union with another person, but when the character is isolated or unable to find significance in their life they are left in a despairing existentialist dilemma. Darl, Dewey Dell, and Vardaman suffer psychologically from never receiving the necessary familial love which was so easily given to Cash and Jewel. Essentially, it is the unhappy marriage of Addie and Anse which leads to the disorder within the family members. Addie's inability to find meaning in her life causes her to reject everyone (with the exception of Jewel and Cash) even life itself, which in turn causes psychological turmoil to those who are rejected.

Each character is compelled to understand their identity and develop some sort of order and meaning in a chaotic world. Darl, the unwanted son simply seeked acceptance and love from Addie, that which he never received and has made him alienated from everyone around him. "Darl's sense of being unwanted which drives him to his obsessive questionings and finally his collapse"(Howe 180). Darl seeks to know whether he exists or not because of the lack or meaning he finds in his life: "I don't know who I am. I don't know if I am not." "Darl yearned for the love Addie gave to his brother Jewel, and feels inferior because his mother preferred the illegitimate child more than him. Darl mentions about Addie and Jewel's relationship: "ma always whipped him and petted him more." (Delville 6).

"Darl agonizes over his mother's rejection: 'Why does she love Jewel? Why not me?'(Delville 7). "If Jewel, so unquestioningly certain he exists, is made conscious of Darl, then Darl must also exist. In order to make Jewel aware of him, Darl prods his brother, trying to elicit as response." (Dellville 6). Being rejected by Addie, Darl essentially seeks acceptance as a human being, and wants Jewel to acknowledge him as such. Addie is now dead, and Darl's only chance at gaining acceptance and understanding of his own existence, is that closest to Addie, Jewel. "Darl's preoccupation with Jewel has at its core neither resentment nor affection, but rather the belief that an understanding of the bond between Addie and Jewel will provide the code for solving the existential riddles with which Darl struggles with throughout the novel." (Dellville 6).Even though Darl appears to taunt Jewel and create tension among each other, this is done with the sole purpose of seeking an affirmation of his own existence. "Darl must constantly probe Jewel's angry certainty, must oppose Jewel on every issue, because to enter Jewel's consciousness, to make Jewel aware of him, is to have his own existence verified." (Dellville 7). "For Darl, struggling to come to terms with himself, to resolve his existential dilemma, the bond between Jewel and Addie becomes the central signifier." (Delville 5). Darl's attempt to burn down Gillespie's farm is a heroic action done because he is fed up with the disrespect his family has brought onto his mother, but it is more significantly to do something meaningful in his life, to gain control and order of life while he is seeing it deteriorate around him. Despite his being rejected love from Addie, he still wants to do a meaningful action for her sake, but also he wants his existence to be acknowledged by others. Sadly, Jewel betrays him by strapping him down in order to take him to a mental asylum and his final attempt in doing a meaningful action is unsuccessful.

"Darl and Addie illustrate 'the necessity of the community to the very existence of individuals who nevertheless feel alienated from or vulnerable to it' (Merill 5). Addie also suffers from lack of meaning in life, and seeks to fill that void with marrying Anse, having children, and having an extramarital affair. "Addie's whole life has been one long attempt to escape her aloneness by breaking through mere words to the reality of things." (Waggonner 68).Addie despises abstractness and loves only concreteness, as Cash and Darl. Addie can see into the reality of things, unlike Cora who is enveloped in an illusory world of Christianity. Addie is realistic in her lack of faith, while Cora has a blind, unwavering faith in Christiantity. In an Existentialist sense Addie's preferring action over words is more meaningful that Cora's dogmatic touting of the Scriptures without much introspection into herself. "Addie is the 'saved' and saving character, not Cora Tull with her conventional piety. An important meaning in the book would seem to be that deeds and not words (or doctrines, or faith) save us." (Waggonner 250). Addie rejects her job as a schoolteacher, her marriage with Anse and their children together, and even regrets being alive. "She rejected not only the children she taught and all but one of the children she bore, she rejected life itself: "I would hate my father for ever having planted me." (Waggonner 81). Addie pleads that her "aloneness be violated", she essentially wants meaningful relationships with others that will give her life purpose. Her attempt to find meaning is unsuccessful for the most part, marrying Anse makes her unhappy, child bearing brings her pain. The only moment of joy in her life was having an extramarital affair with Whitfield, and her only source of joy was Jewel, the result of this extramarital relationship. Addie turns Jewel into a deity, her secular idea of a God, her sense of meaning in life. Addie feels a profound connection with Jewel, precisely because he is a symbol of passionate love and freedom, since he is indeed a love child she conceived with Whitman; her attempt to escape and unhappy marriage with Anse, and discontent with her female role as a mother. "Jewel's birth ends Addie's restlessness, since he is the concrete embodiment of her participation in life and with him she can now satisfy her desire for intimacy." (Waggonner 118) Addie's attempt at attaining meaning in her life is short-lived because she is forced to return to her role of a mother and a wife and cannot continue the relationship with Whitfield, but her happiness lives through Jewel.

Vardaman, like Darl, never received motherly affection from Addie. He is young and is trying to make some sort of meaning and order, despite his being surrounded by chaos. His mother has died, but this fact is way too terrible to accept so he represses her death, because the idea of being alone without affection or understanding is too painful to accept. Vardaman drills holes in Addie's coffin so she can breathe, because he is in denial that she is dead. "Anse finds a literal replacement for Addie by finding himself a new wife, and also views Addie's death as an excuse to get a new set of teeth. On her deathbed he says: "Lord's will be done. Now I can get them teeth." These "Addie substitutes" are another attempt to replace what was lost and achieve some sort of meaning in life as selfish as they may seem.

Works Cited
Dellville, Michel. Alienating Language and Dar's narrative consciousness in Faulkner's As I Lay Dying. The Southern Literary Journal, Fall 1994 v27 i1 p61 (12). Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1994.
Faulkner, William. As I Lay Dying. Vintage International, 1990
Howe, Irving. William Faulkner: A Critical Study .Chicago: Elephant Paperbacks, 1991.
Waggonner, Hyatt H. William Faulkner:From Jefferson to the World . Lexington: University of Kentucky Press, 1966.
Wadlington, Warlick. Reading Faulknerian Tragedy.. New York: Cornell University Press, 1987.