Expecting Your Children to Be Just like You

Are you just like one of your parents? Do you enjoy all of the same exact things? Probably not. As with most of us we do have traits that we get from our parents. We just aren't carbon copies. I'm sure glad that my parents didn't push unrealistic expectations on me to be just like them.

I have four children, all have things they do that are like me, and they also do some things like their father. None of them act just like either of us. I am perfectly all right with that as a matter of fact I prefer they aren't just like me. My husband on the other hand seems to want them to be just like him. I really don't understand that. Does he think he is so perfect that there is nothing better than being just like him? Or could it be he wouldn't know how to relate to them if they weren't just like him? In this case I believe it's the later my husband seems to have a better relationship with the two children that act more like him. They have more things in common at this current point in time. But what happens when their interests and behavior start taking a different direction? I hope he will be able to handle the problems that develop because of the expectations that the kids should be like him.

I can already see the disappointment he will feel when he realizes they aren't going to be just like him. I can also see the disappointment the kids will feel because they were expected to be just like him. That should be great fun.

Our oldest two kids' choice to dress and wear their hair differently already annoy my husband. They get annoyed with their father for just not accepting the way they want to look.

I'm afraid that when all the children decide to walk their own path my husband will feel rejected. He will try to get them to conform to what he wants them to be which will only lead to rebellion and fighting.

I can honestly say that my husband has been trying to see the children as human beings that are entitled to be who they are, and that they are all different from each other and from us.

I hope that they are all able to work through these unrealistic expectations and find a place where they can all, husband included, be seen and appreciated for their differences. With my husband's willingness to try, strides are made all the time toward more realistic expectations. My husband loves and adores his children, so I'm sure they will find a happy middle ground.