Experiences with a Newborn

Being a first time mom for some is a very scary situation. This is something new that you've never encountered and now you have someone else's life in your hands. I remember this day so well. I had my little girl on Valentine's Day 2006. I was so scared to leave the hospital and do everything myself that my mother actually stayed with me for the first week. Usually cleaning and doing stuff around the house unless I needed her. I was so paranoid at night when she slept that something would go wrong that I slept with my hand on her chest while she slept in the bassinet next to me and I usually didn't get ANY sleep. But that was ok, I knew she was safe. When they are that little, they need you 24/7 and you have to be ready for it. At many points, you are usually running on adrenalin. My little girl did NOT sleep at night. She had her night and days mixed up which many newborns do until they are put on a schedule. Scheduling a newborn is NOT as easy as some say, especially if you are a nursing mother.

My little girl was nursed and usually ate every 1 ½ -2 hrs. So by the time I would fall asleep, she'd be waking up to feed. She never took bottles or formula so I was really the ONLY one taking care of her. Every sound or cry she would make I would panic. I didn't know what was going on or what was wrong. But after a few days you sort of realize what cry is for which thing like, diaper change, feeding, and tiredness. After my mother left and my husband had to return to work, I really was scared. I had no one to turn to if something would have gone wrong and I was the only one home. My fears diminished after the days and weeks went by. You realize that this little newborn baby has been growing inside of you for 9 months and you've taken care of it inside of you, that you can take care of them on the outside of your body as well but just in a different sense.

I still remember one day, she was a few weeks old. She was screaming and crying and I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know what she needed or what was wrong. I finally fed her and then she just looked up at me and smiled. That melted my heart. It was like her saying "thank you" and that just broke me down to tears! You never know how much you can love someone until you give birth to a newborn.