Exploring Your Dominate Side in a Relationship

If you are getting into your dom side, learning to empower it, this may be the beginning of a new way of talking, walking, breathing, and getting things accomplished in your life.

Pay attention to your words. If you're starting conversation with a sub you want to connect with electrically, scintillatingly, use strong action verbs right from the beginning. Don't ask questions. Don't worry about if you're good enough, or if things are going to be OK. Make statements, and go by the assumption that you should be honored, that you have an expansive sense of worthy auric field, and this person is going to be thrilled by the experience of serving you. If you go at this from an egocentric point of view, the dynamics of love may be thrown off, but if you realize that the sub's serving of you is a gift you're allowing that he/she thoroughly enjoys giving, then it's an equal relationship, with pleasure for all.

Taking charge, feeling your own power, saying what you want to say in direct sentences, and feeling the confidence through taking on a sub can be an interesting way to direct more energy flow through your body, activate more hormones and endocrine glands. As you activate yourself more fully, you may become more alive in ways that you were holding back before. If you held in energy because of timidity, being overly nice and accommodating, not standing up for your needs enough, starting a relationship as a dom can be therapeutic while being intensely fun and satisfying.

By playing the role of stressing that strong part of yourself predominantly, integrate your true kindness and consideration into it, so it's real, and your new traits work in sync with your basic ones. Being lovingly aggressive in a dom/sub relationship can make changes in how assertive you become in all aspects of your life. People may notice that you are more active when you may have taken a more passive role, and if you're going towards balance, they may applaud you. If you find yourself starting to take it too far sometime, make a joke about your bitchiness, and get a hold of yourself with a smile.

You may find it easier to tell others to do what they need to be doing in order to be fair to you, such as co workers, housemates, family, even animals. If you found it hard to be taken seriously before because you would be smiling shyly while circumnavigating requests, you'll be able to put your foot down in a way that is firm. By resting comfortably in your well expressed dom side, imagining your sub admiring your strong actions, say what you need to say, with more poise and self assurance than ever.

If you imagine your sub looking up to you as a dynamic person, you can remove yourself from self pity, from any traps you make for yourself through being too wishy washy or letting people take advantage of you. You can act more courageously, and bring that power out in the bedroom with your sub.

Feel yourself as a capable spirit with immense energy at your command through this boundless universe, and when the meridians are open, the energy flows through freely, and you can direct the flow towards your sub. By tapping into the energy field around you by conscious breathing, by grounding and connecting with the earth, by drawing in the rays of the sun with appreciation, you can fill yourself with potency, and keep it moving through you to your sub. It can feel like sexual lightning. The sparks can make you both go into intensely orgasmic states, as if you are both made of electricity. Which you are.

Letting out that fierceness, that animal instinct, but in the context of love and energy flow, can change your walk and gestures in ways that make people show you more respect, treat you more fairly, and gentility. Your voice quality may become more resonant, and you may become aware of ways that you used to speak in inferences, and now are speaking more straightforwardly. People may find themselves less confused by your messages when you ask them make changes that need to be made. You may find yourself breathing deeper, with better circulation, and more attractive in an edgy, mysterious way.

And you may find your heart opened because of the giving nature of the sub, so open to you, seeing you blossom fully and both of you finding ways to play with parts of yourself that were calling to you all along.