Extra-terrestrial Invasion Inscribed in Rosetta Stone

Historians believe that alien beings will arrive sometime this year based on a re-evaluation of the Rosetta Stone.

Up until recent times, experts believed that the Rosetta Stone, dating back to its creation in 196 BC, was a script with record of the king of that era along with other religious thoughts, etched in stone in three languages: Hieroglyphics, Demotic Egyptian, and Greek. . However, recent studies have determined that the stone is actually written for a different purpose in variations of a single language: alien.

Over the past several years, historians such as Dr. James Herbert Keenan-a professor at Robert Doman University-have been steadily progressing towards unlocking the true secrets of the Rosetta Stone. He talked with us about the hieroglyphic portion of the script. "The first glyph that is easily recognizable is in the first row (marked by the red box in the photo)," he stated, anxiety building in his voice. "Clearly, it is an extra-terrestrial-class weapon, commonly known as a 'ray gun'.

As a demonstration of the sheer destructive power of these weapons, the beings fired several bursts into various parts of the stone (such as those shown in the yellow box)." At this point, Dr. Keenan could hardly contain his enthusiasm. "However, the extra-terrestrials did not want the text to appear as an empty threat, so they included a glyph of themselves (located in the green box). They seem to posses the physical traits of a squid, although they obviously do not live underwater."

"To further the human understanding of their superiority, they etched what appears to be an axe in the center of the Rosetta Stone (as shown in the blue box in the photo). This is obviously an attempt to compare our military might to theirs: they are claiming that our weaponry is incredibly primitive; we might as well, so to speak, be fighting with axes."

The interview continued with Dr. Keenan informing us that, contrary to stories of clichéd alien invasions, these extra-terrestrials did not intend on destroying the human population, but rather enslaving it. Evidence of this (located in the orange box) is the glyph that appears to be an array of prison bars. Apparently, the invaders believe that, despite our blatant deficiencies, humans would make useful slaves.

The professor left us with a bit of insight at the end of his interview: "The Rosetta Stone is to be taken seriously. Heed my words and do not dismiss the signs. One of the last glyphs portrays their sincerity on the matter (located in the lavender box). That is undoubtedly a stern and determined face- an accurate representation of their mood.

Dr. James Herbert Keenan is one of the most highly touted historic minds of the current era. Therefore, if he says that aliens are going to enslave the Earth, one can expect such an occurrence in the near future. Prepare yourselves.