Fabulous 50s

As I was getting dressed for work the other day, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had lost something.

"Honey," I called to my husband, "Have you seen my waist?" I was certain that it was somewhere in the house, but it definitely was not in between my breasts and my hips. Gravity had worked it's magic and the sand was stuck in the middle of my once hour-glass figure.

Recently I turned fifty-two. It was not as tough for me as it might have been, because for some reason I thought that I was going to be fifty-five on my birthday. So, it was a joy and a relief to know that I had lost three years in the process. But, in retrospect, I gained twenty, since it was the first year that I admitted that I was not turning thirty- five once again.

Gone are the days of trying to decide what type of maxi-pad or tampon is the politically correct choice. My hair is already highlighted with silver streaks, and push-up bras have given way to lift and separate. The hardest decision I am faced with these days is where to search for my glasses so that I can see to find my glasses.

As an Minister, I often find myself counseling women in their forties and fifties. Often their main concern is that they feel they are less desirable than they were in their twenties and thirties. I tell them that perhaps it is not that they are less desirable, but rather that the men who find them desirable are in their forties, fifties and even sixties. Support hose and bifocals have now replaced tight jeans and firm abdominal muscles.

It is difficult when we are faced with role models like Cher, who due to numerous body lifts, now wears her belly-button ring under her chin. Nip and tuck procedures can only nip and tuck so far until they run out of nippable and tuckable skin. And, wrinkle creams can only cover so much.. the only other option is bond-o. In truth, every skincare aisle in every department store is primarily devoted to concealing, plumping, firming, toning, tanning, and molding middle -aged skin. One could warnder nomad-like through the aisle for days in search of that one cream which will turn the Fairy Godmother into Cinderella.

And, on top of that, we are subjected to the aisle full of vitamins and supplements for menopausal women. There are vitamins to enhance your energy, water pills to help you drain your bloated thighs, and herbs to make those uncomfortable hot flashes more comfortable. I can tell you from experience that there isn't a vitamin or supplement out there that truly obliterates hot flashes. I turned fifty and found myself visiting the tropics while those around me were living in a winter wonderland. I didn't need to take an arobics class since my entire nights were spent doing sit-ups and push-ups with my blankets. Blanket on.. blanket off.

But, in spite of gravity, memory loss and sexual insecurities, being an older woman in the world of today is a far-sight better than the world that our mothers and grandmothers were up against. We are more independent, outspoken and self assured than the women of the past. We are a powerful and productive presence in today's workforce, and we live longer, happier and healthier lives.

Turning fifty is a rite of passage in a woman's life. In most cases she is finished with or at the end of menopause. Her children are either in their late teens or early adulthood, and they are no longer reliant upon her for their physical needs. The fear of pregnancy has abated, and sex can be much more pleasurable... and very interesting when the iron fortified bra (her) and the support stockings (him) come off, and all is allowed to flap serenely in the breeze. Victoria's Secret is no longer a secret.

Our society thrives on celebrating rites of passage. We celebrate births, weddings and funerals. But, what is lacking is a ceremony that honors and respects the wisdom of the elders in our "tribe", although the "Red Hat Lady Societies" are sort of on the right track in that direction.

Recently, Croning ceremonies have become popular. A woman becomes a Crone once she is through menopause, or in some cases becomes a grandmother. During her Croning ceremony, the woman sits in a chair in the middle of a circle of family and friends. She wears a royal purple cape, and a crown. Each person in the circle comes forward and places a small gift or token of appreciation in the Crone's lap. As the people present their gifts, stories may be told about how the Crone has had an effect on their lives, what she has taught them, and how they honor her wisdom. I have very fond and wonderful memories of my own Croning.

I love being a Crone. I feel better, look better, and am more self confident now than I have ever been before, even if I still haven't found my waist.