Face Your Naked Truth - Take a Good Long Look in the Mirror

The first thing you need to do is find a good full-length mirror. Stand in front of it and take a good long look at yourself.

What do you see? I'm not talking about the makeup or the hairstyle, or even the features. I mean the total package.

Do you find the image you're looking at attractive? Enticing? Approachable? Why or why not?

It's okay if you're not entirely pleased with your image (as reflected to you and as perceived by others) for now. But it is important that you determine what it is about what you see that you don't like so you'll know what you will need to work on.

Consider this: maybe it's not the raw material you find unattractive, but the presentation. Have you ever noticed how some neighbors' lawns are always neat and well-manicured while some others are always overgrown and strewn with trash. The way those lawns look tell you a lot about the way the homeowners feel about their surroundings. The lawns that always look nice look that way because they are being cared for by their owners, while the lawns that are always shabby are obviously not being taken care of.

The same logic applies to your personal appearance. If you care about yourself, you take care of yourself ... and it shows. Conversely, if you don't take care of yourself, you probably don't make a point of making sure you always look your best. What that tells others is you don't think very highly of yourself.

Sure, all of us are guilty of slumming sometimes. But if looking trashed is your normal MO, you will be perceived by others as someone who doesn't care about herself. Others will reason that if you don't even care about yourself why should anyone else bother to care about you.

You may not even be conscious that your appearance is sending negative messages. As far as you are concerned, you may be just being comfortable. But perception is reality.

It doesn't matter that that's not the message you intend to send. What matters is people will believe that it is. So make sure your appearance says what you want it to say about you.

Okay, now back to the mirror. Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down what you do and do not like about what you see. Make sure you either sit or stand in front of the mirror for at least another 15 minutes before you begin writing. Really take the time to study yourself as others do and try to see yourself the way others see you.

When you're done listing your likes and dislikes, put the paper away for just a minute and return to the mirror.

Now take your clothes off. All of your clothes--every single item. It's okay if you're a little uncomfortable at first. Most women are not at all comfortable with their bodies, especially their unclothed bodies.

Study your reflection. Check out your frontal and back views and both side profiles.

Now get your paper and pen again and write down the rest of your likes and dislikes. Once you're done--and I'm assuming you have some privacy--don't put your clothes back on immediately.

Walk around the house. Do your exercises. Water your plants. Watch television. Have a sandwich. Do anything that you would normally be doing while wearing clothing.

I'm not trying to transform you into a nudist here. The point is for you to become comfortable with yourself. I want you to get so comfortable with yourself that you could swap family recipes with your grandmother (you probably want to do this over the phone unless you have a VERY progressive grandmother) without wearing so much as a stitch.

Now go back to the mirror. Assuming your home is kept at a comfortable temperature and your friends haven't jumped from behind the sofa yelling "Surprise!", you should be a lot more comfortable with yourself in the buff. This is great news, because comfort with oneself is a sure sign of self-acceptance.

At this point you can put your clothes back on--if you want to. Now we can talk about the areas that need improvement.

Let's start at the top. Is your hair healthy and free of frizz and split ends? Is your mane lustrous and shiny? Is it your crowning glory? Do you like your hair color? How about the cut? Is it flattering? Does it reflect your personal style?

Next let's take a look at your eyes. Are your brows neatly shaped? Do you wear eyeglasses? If so, do they fit properly? Do they flatter your face? Do you have bags or dark circles underneath your eyes?

Do you take good care of your skin? Is your complexion even and blemish free? Is your skin smooth and soft to the touch?

Do you wear makeup? Is it applied properly? Does it enhance your features?

How's your posture? Did you know that practicing proper posture can instantly make you look five pounds slimmer?

What are your best features? What do you do to draw attention to them?

What features are you least pleased with? What are you doing to deflect attention away from them?

How's your shape shaping up? Are your shoulder's narrow? Does your tummy protrude? Are your legs chunky?

In the greater scheme of things, it really doesn't matter whether you're a natural born knockout. I'm not contradicting my previous statement that appearances count. There is a big difference between not caring about your looks and accepting that you're not perfect.

There is nothing more attractive than a confident, self-assured woman. No amount of physical alterations, whether chemical or surgical,

can substitute for the gift of knowing who you are and that you deserve the very best. Looking good is the result of accentuation, not alteration. Learn to take what you have and make what you need.

As you continue to read you will learn that it is not what he sees when he looks at you that will make a man fall in love with you, but how you make him see (and feel about) himself. Check out my blog: http://www.deliciouslysatisfyingrelationships.blogspot.com/.