Facebook Holds Millions of Writers Hostage: Twitter Joins Conspiracy

Every morning before I begin writing, I check my email for Facebook and Twitter updates . My excuse is that it's all a part of being an online writer. The truth is, Facebook is holding me hostage. In fact, Facebook and Twitter are holding millions of writers hostage every morning. It's all a plot to keep us from writing meaningful articles like this one. Millions of writers, like myself are held hostage by Facebook and Twitter every morning in the guise of entertainment and article promotion.

Friends and Followers
As writers, it behooves us to make as many friends on Facebook and Twitter as humanly possible. This gets our name out there for the search engines, encourages people to read our pay per click articles and hopefully gets us some really good friends to banter and chatter with in between articles. Twitter aptly calls your friends followers because that is what they do. They follow your tweets. Millions of writers are held hostage every morning on Facebook and Twitter, friending friends, tweeting tweeters and generally wasting time.

The Mindless Amusing Chatter
In the process of making as many friends as possible on Facebook and Twitter there is much silly banter and useless conversation that goes on. Facebook conveniently sends you an email every time someone comments on something you have said or anytime someone comments about something you have commented on. Of course, you must check to see what they have said and respond because not responding would be rude. This is just another way for Facebook to hold millions of writers hostage every morning.

The Videos
What can I say about the videos? Someone posts one and it is reposted and commented on by all your friends. 'You must see this!, BWA HA HA!, Funniest thing I ever saw!, How did that piece of toast get in there?, I forgot how stupid that video was!, The things people do with bananas is astounding!, OMG!, ROFL!' Just how are we writers supposed to get any work done with Facebook and Twitter holding us hostage every morning? Millions of writers glued to their pages, being held hostage by watching silly, gross or stupid videos when we should be writing.

The Birthdays
Facebook is a work of sheer genius! They even hold us hostage with each other's birthdays. For those of you who don't know this, every time one of your Facebook friends has a birthday, it's conveniently posted on your page. How can you not wish Suzy Q Writer (fictional name, no resemblance to actual writer intended) a Happy Birthday? After all, she was sweet enough to wish you one, right? It's all part of the job, after all. Every time we do something on there, Facebook gets another click, another payment. They are so holding millions of writers hostage every morning!

The Links
This is a good thing. This is the main reason other than friendship, that holds millions of writers hostage on Facebook and Twitter each morning. The big payoff. Our bonanza of residuals, comments and exposure. Millions of Facebook and Twitter users are held hostage posting links to their articles, coming up with clever lines to make you click on them and clicking on the links of all their Facebook and Twitter friends. Why do we do it? We do it because they are darn good writers, some hilarious, some knowledgeable, some absolutely zany, and lets face it, we also do it so they will click on ours.

The Games
We are addicted to the games. We can have our own farm town, our own island, be a sorority bitch, a mobster, a magician, a restaurant owner or whatever moves us. Anything you are lacking in your real life can be lived in the virtual world of Facebook games. Writers are held hostage on Facebook every morning because their real life job is sitting in front of the computer for hours on end trying to come up with clever, informative articles and such that will pay the bills. Can you say, diversion desperately needed?

The Tags, Joins and Fans
This is where your writer friends, who are enjoying their time as hostages, send you invitations to answer a ten page get to know you questionnaire, suggestions that you become a member of this group or that, support a cause or fan some celebrity who will never talk to you anyway. Note to all Facebook and Twitter friends: I do not join causes, fan people I don't know or any of this other pointless stuff. I will answer your ten page questionnaire on occasion if I have the time to be held hostage on Facebook and the questionnaire is amusing. Some of the causes are most worthy, don't get me wrong. I just don't see where my little click helps, nor do I have time to champion every good cause in the world. I do what I can in the non-virtual world, where it actually does some good.

Why Do We Do It?
So, if Facebook is so horrible why do I keep doing it? Because I love it! Facebook and Twitter give me a chance to meet all kinds of great people from all over the world. Many of them are writers being held hostage, like myself. We like to chat with each other, send each other virtual gifts, live together in our virtual game towns, make silly comments on each other's posts, share our day with each other, etc. It's basically a virtual office for homebound online writers. Facebook and Twitter keep me in touch with long distance family members too. I love being held hostage on Facebook and Twitter every morning with millions of online writers for company. Now let me get back to my BFF's and do a little more ROFL. TTYL

Source:

Personal Experience

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1680917/facebook_farm_town_my_addiction.html?cat=19