Fake Southern Hospitality

The south is known for having incredible hospitality, a slow-paced life, and a general kindness all around. I often feel out of place, and I have lived my whole life in Georgia, the heart of the south.

You go in to the supermarket or to a cashier at a store and they always say "Hi, how are you?" You meet someone and they want your life story and expect you to tell them. It's a way of life, a sort of fakeness that I never got used to, that I don't participate in, yet I still live in middle Georgia. Most people don't care what you say when they ask how you are so why bother asking in the first place? Do you think it makes us feel good to have someone pretend for 5 seconds to care about us? And most people who answer give a generic "I'm fine" or "good, how are you?" only serving to extend this fake conversation a few seconds longer.

If you have a little more time, inevitably the next questions are about your work and your family. In France, it is impolite to ask about one's personal matters such as work and family at a first meeting or to a stranger. They have a better concept of what's appropriate and what's not. When you encounter someone at a store or somewhere, they say hi, but don't ask how you are because they don't really care. I like the genuineness of that. If they want to small talk, they comment about the weather, or the local football team, or the traffic, or politics - sensible things and things that elicit a more genuine response and might give you a better idea of whether you want to actually get to know the person more.

But people always say southerners - people from Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina - are the nicest, and I wholeheartedly disagree. People all over are nice and helpful. In any town, if a genuinely nice person sees you in trouble or lost, they will try to help. In fact, some of the most helpful people I have met were in Philadelphia when I was walking around, probably visibly lost, looking for a particular bar. Care for people in distress is important but for everyday matters, genuine indifference is always better than fake friendliness.