Faking Your Way to a Presentable Home in 30 Minutes

The phrase that strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who isn't Donna Reed: "I'm bringing the boss home for a drink, we'll be there in half an hour!" Your eyes dart around your abode, picking out the cat-fur on the carpet, your laptop set up on the middle of the living room, and the pile of dishes in the sink. Take a deep breath and get your game-face on. This is how to get ready for company in less than 30 minutes.

First of all, close the doors to all non-essential rooms. Company you want to impress is not going to expect a full tour. Turn your attention to the living room or den, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Run into the laundry room and grab an empty clothes basket. Then throw all of the papers, books, laptops, cords, shoes, and other detritus into it and then toss it into one of the aforementioned closed-off rooms. Throw all the animals into these rooms as well, along with their litter, food, and water.

Now that all of the general disarray is handled, plug in your vacuum and de-fur the carpets and the furniture. If you have cats, put your nicest clean throws over the couches and chairs. With a wad of paper-towels and some glass cleaner, give your end tables and coffee table a polish.

You're running low on time, so go in the bathroom, hang a fresh hand towel, give the toilet a quick scrub, wipe down the mirror, sink and counters with your wad of paper towels and then throw it in the trash. Spray some air freshener, close the shower curtain, and light a candle. Make sure there is toilet paper and put a fresh bag in the trash can.

Now for the kitchen, which in most houses is going to be seen at least for a few moments. If you have a cold stove, open the oven, and stack your dirty dishes inside. If it's still warm, you can either chance it or fill up another plastic laundry basket. Give the sink and counter tops a quick swipe with more of your glass cleaner. Stuff the smaller trash bag from the bathroom into the kitchen trash bag, and then take the whole thing out.

Spray some light air freshener and display a few lit candles. You do not want to get caught cleaning! Go into your room and quickly put on something presentable. Pull your hair back quickly and throw on some lip-gloss. Then go sit on the couch with a magazine. When your partner and the boss appear, you'll be calm and collected.

After the company says goodnight, don't forget to take your dishes out of the oven and release the animals quickly. Maybe treat yourself to a glass of wine. In a perfect world, your partner would never pull this kind of surprise on you, but it happens. Relax. You pulled it off!