Fall of the Independent Woman

The 90s and the 21st century witnessed the rise and bloom of the fiercer, stronger, assertive and ambitious independent woman who "pays [her] own bills and always 50/50 in relationships". Women wearing suits, holding their chic briefcases while hastily talking on their cell phones and catwalking towards the HQs of their companies loved the idea of throwing their heads back and merrily shouting towards the blazing sun "I depend on me!" on a balmy summer day.

However millions of years of evolution had something to say.

The rise of the independent woman was an offset and one of the victorious consequences of feminism that kicked off with its first wave back in the XIX century. Women started raising their voices and were enthusiastic about fighting for their rights against the suppressive hegemony of men who believed women were born to bear children, cook and tend the house. Unfortunately, that is still what men think deep down inside no matter what their response towards career women on the outside might be.

Greek mythology introduced us two popular warrior goddesses, namely Artemis the hunter and Athena the wise. Note that neither of these two possessed the feminine reflections (regardless of Artemis' later identification with the Moon) and the never-ending adoration that Aphrodite emitted and received. They were worshipped and revered alright but couldn't escape ending up as two of the three (the last being Hestia the hearth who, although not a warrior goddess, was too stable and unmoving to do anything set aside courting) virgin goddesses without a love life.

The world we live in has not changed one bit. It is simply the trends that have altered and reshaped our daily lives.

We have that moment in history when some homo sapiens mumbled "men fight, woman cave" to blame for this. Ever since that moment, gender roles have been genetically coded and recoded for centuries and no movement or school of thought can overcome evolution overnight.

So the independent woman was happy for a while. What she missed in the process was men were even happier. With women reclaiming their masculine attributes like earning a living, and declaring her sexual freedom, men took a deep sigh of relief and sat back comfortably.

It was still a man's world.

The burden of taking the first step was finally lifted off from men's shoulders. They started enjoying the courtship of the daring woman which had always been a male fantasy anyway. Moreover, with so many women out there who are willing to explore their sexuality with a man of their choosing ("Ha! Nobody chooses me! I choose whomever I want, whenever I want!"), men were finally free of the "chains of commitment". Terms like "friends with benefits" were quickly and happily introduced while the independent woman cherished her liberty.

By turning herself into little Xena-like warrior queens, independent women agreed to accompanying men to hunt and bring down that wild beast and, in doing so, became more and more a "companion" to men rather than a "beloved". Playing the game by men's rules did not come with a price and that price was nothing but women's speedy loss of contact with their fragile, dependent and highly affectionate femininity.

Moreover, the warrior, or any man in shining armor for that matter, still fell in love with the damsel in distress not because she was weaker or lower but simply because she let men do what his genetics told him to do. Namely, hunt, fight, provide food for his home and safety of his loved one(s).

What's even sadder is independent woman's ways of adapting herself to the situation. She hears her body clock just as much as her more domestic counterparts. She needs to be wooed just as much as any female, feels the need to lean her head on a shoulder or have someone to be there for her against the storms and turmoils of life. However, she usually settles for the best of the worst that comes her way and then lead an over-organized life that lacks spontaneity between her career, her children, a marriage that needs quality time, her friends and her very self that demands attention. To top things off, she makes herself believe that she's happy having a hectic schedule with a laugh.

Thus, independent woman never thought that independence could get really lonely out there.

Yet it can and unless she finds a way/ways to reconnect with her fragile, healthily dependent and undeniably emotional self, she is doomed to failure in intimate relationships.

Unlike the legend, men like strong women. What they don't like are enhanced masculine attributes in a woman and no, wearing a skirt isn't enough to make you feminine. Instead of complaining about the ephemeral, easily consumed nature of relationships and lack of true love, today's independent women should make history reverse itself in some ways and find a way to reclaim their right to be weak and in need!

And perhaps think twice before bragging about buying their own diamonds, alright.