Fall TV Scorecard - A Rundown of the Network Offerings

It's Homer Simpson's favorite time of the year. New TV season! No mincing words with a wasted paragraph, lets get right into the new shows.

The Bionic Woman- instant success. It's a remake done with the best possible conditions. TV has had about 10 solid years of sexy women running around as the lead on sci-fi/genre programming (from Buffy to Charmed). It's a remake of a familiar genre classic, but today we have the technology and special effects to pull off a show like this without the suspension of disbelief. And the original Bionic Woman, Katee Sackhoff, returns to play an evil Bionic Woman. And Grey's Anatomy castaway Isaiah Washington will show up on a few episodes. Finally, on the same night and channel as Heroes; there is no better red carpet!

Heroes- Everyone fears a sophomore slump, but they are set up to have a pretty good 2^nd season. Their advantage; season one involved a lot of slow pacing and effort to introduce the concept to the mainstream audience. Now they have us, and they know it. It gives them room and license to get wild.

Lost- It's a fair bet that the fourth season is a hit. Lost found it's direction- now that they have a set schedule of three more seasons of 16 episodes each. They finally responded to the fan outcry by bringing the show together by the season three finale. With only 16 episodes this season, it's guaranteed to have less filler. Harold Perrineau Jr. returns to the show, which at least gives us an update on Michael and Walt (with his mysterious powers). Plus, Lost doesn't return until February, and absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Nip Tuck- Last season, while still creative, was a bit of creative slump compared to seasons two and three. It was repetitive, watching Sean rehash the same, stale, arguments with Julia. Now, with the marriage over, the family separated, and the lead characters relocated to the left coast, this is iffy.

This writer doesn't have a problem with California, but previously Miami seemed so much a character on the show. And what of the fate of some of the series regulars that added to so much of the continuity. But with hopes of Rosie O'Donnel reprising her white trash character, I'm in. Besides, Nip Tuck is the only show to consistently jump the shark every season, and survive.

Caveman- how soon will this be cancelled?

Sarah Conner Chronicles- Linda Hamilton may have defined that role too well. I don't think anyone is interested in watching someone else, even the wonderful Summer Glau of "Firefly" in the role.

30 Rock- This year, expect 30 Rock to eclipse "The Office" as the anchor comedy show for NBC. Tina Fey and the crew didn't hit their stride into mid season. Then Alec Baldwin supplied publicity over the summer. This season, guest stars include Jerry Seinfeld on the season premiere. Later, former Soprano Eddie Falco guest on multiple episodes.

Prison Break- The smart mastermind Michael is locked inside a Panamanian prison. And the older, brutish, brother, Lincoln is plotting to get Michael out of prison. Can they jump the shark. This will be interesting.

Grey's Anatomy- After giving Isaiah Washington the old Michael Vick heave ho, now they have to deal with suspension of disbelief. First, watching the characters go through the emotions of explaining why a certain character isn't there. Secondly, watching T.R. Knight pursue a relationship with Katherine Heigl, even though Knight the actor is now out of the closet. (I think there is a reason David Hyde Pierce stayed in the close while bringing life to the character Niles.)

Desperate Housewives- Awesome actress Dana Delany is the new nemesis in town. The witch next door, probably in league with Nicollete Sheridan. This is a good sign. Delany is accomplished, much like Laurie Metcalf before her. Nathon Fillon plays the goodboy husband to Delany- he's gotta do something since Drive got the axe.

The Simpson- They've been sorta low-key these last few years. The quality is still there, it's just we're too used to them. Everyone grew up on The Simpsons, and now know them like your own quirky family. But I'm optimistic for a breakthrough year. This is probably the first time in a decade that the Simpsons premiered early- in September. Fox might actually allow us to se the Treehouse of Horror episode before Halloween for once. But, keep in mind so many shows are crafted from the Simpsons mold. Such as:

Family Guy- Crown Champion of animated comedy right now. Looking forward to the Star Wars Themed Episode. (The Poltergeist Episode was awesome years ago.)

South Park- Former bad boy of comedy. When you catch it, it doesn't disappoint.

Robot Chicken- Short, but great! This season guest voices include- Hayden Panetiere, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Kevin Connoly of "Entourage".

The Boondocks- I await this show with great anticipation. The preview leads me to believe it will be uncensored! Uncle Ruckus, Riley, and the whole damn crew return to crash your suburb!