False Sense of Protection from Abuse: My Story

Nearly 10 months ago I found myself in the situation of obtaining a protection from abuse order, sometimes referred to as a pfa. This experience, although scary to go through, was a necessary step for. There was a domestic abuse issue and I felt there was little else I could do to protect myself and have time to move. At the court house that day, it was fully explained to me how the pfa would work. I was to keep it with me at all times, in case there was an incident. The thing that no one seemed to explain was the fact that if you have a violation, of anything stated in the order, that does not necessarily mean you can file charges. My experience was to receive a 6 page letter from my significant other, shortly after the pfa went into effect, pleading with me to come back. He supposedly had someone put it on the windshield of my car while I was at work. I reported this right away. This was a form of contacting me, a violation that was clearly stated in my court order as punishable. The police department responded right away and retold my significant other that this was not to be done and the next time he did they would bring charges. So basically, it felt to me we slapped his wrists and moved on. I had issues all along the way, with the same type of punishment happening to him. They would speak to him, but because the violation was not threatening or the fact there was not more to it, they would tell me they could not go to a judge with it.

Currently, I have had to have my cell phone number changed twice because somehow he has gotten the number each time. He has called my friends asking them to plead his case for him, and try to talk them into helping him. I had damage to my car door via keying, and could not prove it was him. My attorney sided with the police department most of the time. So it felt like the order I had was somewhat useless. I still find myself dealing with my significant other using my screen name off the Internet and getting my password so that I could no longer use it. As before, this was all reportable incidences, to no end result.

The end result of this article is to not leave you feeling helpless, but informed. I know this all was not fully explained to me on the day I received the order. I was under the impression that if a violation was on page 4 and he violated it, he could be charged. Then I found out differently!