Familial Holiday Malaise

Stomach feeling queasy and locked up in knots
at the thought of spending another holiday with family
Terrified at the thought of being thrown to the wolves
Scrutinizing my every gesture and how much food I take at dinners
Wondering how I could be related to ruthless individuals
Watching as they judge my career choices and my personal life
Grandpa making my boyfriends weak in the knees from fear
My father interrogating them like murder suspects
Cousins rolling their eyes when talk of my writing is discussed
Offers of career sustenance through teaching positions and social work
As the yams and Grandma's homemade stuffing go from person to person
No one around me seems familiar at all
I'm sandwiched between strangers, potential lunatics, twice a year
Some only get to be seen once every five years
No love lost between those loved ones because they are faces in a crowd
Feeling the ignorant slap of the other individuals seen more often
Searching high and low for the nearest exit
Instead trapped by the smell of roasted turkey & apple pie
Firmly planted at the table between Grandma and Uncle Bob
Stuck until the last bite and last dish is put away
Another appointment for same time and place
Hopefully, in the next five years or so.