Families Torn Apart
Another example would be that when your grandparents die so does the family reunions and get-togethers. When I was growing up we had lots of family reunions and gatherings with the whole family. As soon as my grandparents died all of those family gatherings stopped and we hardly ever get together anymore. I wonder why this happens. You would figure that when we lost a loved one we would want to stick together and be there for one another. We should keep getting together and keep the memories alive but instead we act like we were never a family at all.
It was the same way with my husband's family. Growing up he was very close to his aunts, uncles and cousins. They were constantly having family reunions and parties, but after his grandmother and great grandmother died that was all over. No more family reunions, parties, barbecues or anything else for that matter. It is such a shame that these things happen.
My stepson used to come and visit us every weekend and stayed with us about a month out of the summer, if not more. He was always eager to spend time with us and was constantly begging his mother to bring him to visit. Even though his mother and I didn't get along very well she had no reason, nor did she want to, keep him from us. But now that she has died her family isn't allowing him to have anything to do with us. Although he is 17 and will be turning 18 soon they still try to keep him from us. They have succeeded so far. We realize that he is old enough to make his own decisions about spending time with us but he does this to keep the peace in the family. He has to be around these people all the time and he doesn't want to have to hear the constant remarks against us.
Unfortunately this is a very common thing that happens in most families. People have told us that they too have gone through this same thing. Before a close relative died they would constantly get together and celebrate the holidays together but as soon as their loved one dies this no longer happens. It is sad that this happens. It seems like it was this loved one that held the family together like glue and as soon as they passed away the glue fell apart.
Published by Sharon Morris
I have been an any writer for more than 5 years now. I call myself this because I am capable of writing on any topic. I started out small on the freelance writing ladder and have climbed my way to the to... View profile
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4 Comments
Post a CommentHi Sophie, Thanks for commenting. As for my stepson, he still doesn't want anything to do with us and I blame his mothers side of the family. I think they have fed him a line of bull and poisoned his mind against us. Of course he is 18 now so he should be able to make his own decisions and he does not have to listen to his mom's side of the family but that is the way it is going on.
Yes it is really sad. Like my husband says,"If you can't come around while I'm alive then don't come around when I'm dead. He also says that if you can't buy flowers or any other gifts while we are alive then why bother doing it when we're dead. It is like the one person who brings the family together tears the family apart when they die. I mean it is not that persons fault but I just don't understand it.
I agree with what you said about how families are torn apart in death. Since my Mum's death in 2004 I hardly hear from her family. Some even went so far to say at the funeral that now she was gone, there was no reason to keep in touch. Those who didn't actually say it still believed it and they are now strangers. Families can be very cruel. I hope you are able to see your stepson. It's wrong of his family to meddle.
Sophie
It's amazing what several people will do for that one person that they love so much, but when that person is gone they no longer feel obligated to spend time with their other family members. It's really sad. Great article.